July 10, 2011: Has anyone sat through an Al-Jazeera news report recently? Well, the network is now vying with Tel Aviv for “most zionistic programmng” in the Arab World. I knew something was wrong when the illustrious Ghassan Bin Jiddo quit over the inveterate lying with which he had become associated because of his employment there. It is obvious now that their IMMORTAL LEADER EMIR TABL IBN TABLAYN ZAWJ AL-MAWZAAYA plays a much bigger role in the integrity (or lack thereof) of the network than we had originally thought. “Tabl” means “big fat drum” in our Levantine dialect such that the Emir is now TABL SON OF DOUBLE TABL HUSBAND OF MADAME BANANA. He has been nominated by the undersigned as a potential winner of the Annual SyrianPerspective Hypocrite of the Year Award. He will make a fine competitor for Judge Ocampo’s much-deserved title. I fear that Lady Ashton is falling far behind in the voting due to her succumbing to Spinster’s Tea Disease Syndrome, a malady that only affects neurotic English old maids.
But Idiot of the Day Award can now be confidently bestowed on Monsieur Erik Chevallier, Ambassador of France to the Syrian Arab Republic. Chevallier accompanied Idiot of the Day Champion, Robert Ford, on Thursday to give support to the insurgents in Hama (without, of course, interfering in the internal affairs of the country). Monsieur Chevallier was described as “callow” and “mildly embarrassed” as he exchanged pleasantries with people he knew would be trying to blow up the Eiffel Tower or Versailles or even, Madame Tarte’s Bordello in Montmarte. Apparently his trip was given the green light by his Omniscient Weasel President Nicolas MAGYAR CUCKOLD Sarkozy. Oh You French Miscreants, send your ships to the shores of Syria. We have ten thousand Jules Jammals waiting for you.
I want you all to know that the BBC is becoming more and more like Al-Jazeera. Yesterday, their hapless BBC reporter claimed that the Hama demonstration involved “HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS” of people.
Anthony Shadid of the NYT, reported that it involved ‘TENS OF THOUSANDS”. Wow! That’s quite a difference. When my wife spoke to her brother-in-law in Sqailbiyya, a town outside Hama, she asked him about this big demonstration. He responded that there were a lot of people and no one cared.
I want you all to call the State Department in Washington and give them a piece of your mind. They actually accused the Syrian Ambassador, Dr. Imad Mustapha, of orchestrating a campaign of intimidation against demonstrators here in the U.S.A. They accused embassy staff of photographing demonstrators and using the information to harass their relatives in Syria. This is a made up story to cover the miserably incompetent actions of our ambassador in Damascus who, right there in the heat of midday, travelled with some Frog Wastrel Over-Perfumed, Sex-Deviant Diplomat, to Hama in order to foment sectarian discord and strife in Syria. Personally, I hope that the demonstrators here in the United States; those who stand against the Syrian Government all contract an incurable form of scurvy; especially the money-grubbing, blood-sucking, fake-Muslim quacks who pass themselves off as physicians. They are all members of the Muslim Brotherhood. They are liars and bigots. Hell will hold no surprises for them. ZAF