September 20, 2011 – With the surrender of “Colonel” Hantoush, the legendary gadabout, who is really a “major” (muqaddim)  in the Syrian army (moonlighting as a janitor), the other deserters are quickly turning themselves in and claiming “deceitful practices” by “non-Syrian enemies of the state”.  According to my brother-in-law who lives in Latakia, most of the deserters were provincials who were mistakenly assigned to areas which they knew very well but which also were populated by their relatives and friends.  This created a conflict for some of them who felt torn between their loyalty to the flag and their kinfolk.  In any case, they will be tried for desertion, dereliction of duty, disobeying a lawful order of a superior officer and possibly, treason.  Treason would only attach if it could be proved that they took up arms against the state.  Their sentences could be commuted or reduced if they give state’s evidence or disclose information leading to the arrest of seditionists.  My brother-in-law states that the number of deserters is “small, about thirty,  at most”.  If you listen to some of these “human rights organizations”, you’d think they were in the hundreds.  What a joke! 

One of my closest friends, Tony, has a son, Chris, who is a Ph.D. in archeology and lives in the American southwest.  His son has eminently refined taste as evinced by his ardent devotion to my blogsite.  But Chris, has been had by the purveyors of poop; the vendors of venom; the hawkers of hooey.  In other words, Chris has been reading the western press.  According to Tony, his son cannot believe that I have taken an animadverted position upon the “freedom-loving, democracy promoting, liberal-thinking fighters of the Syrian streets.”  But I have. And that’s because they are anything but what they claim.

The conflict in Syria is between, on one level, the forces of religious intolerance and secularism.  On another level, it pits a small fraction of disgruntled sunnis against what they perceive to be Alawi hillbillies from the coastal mountain who have monopolized the Syrian economy and hoarded the country’s wealth thus derogating from the Sunni’s sacred right to rule. On a third level, at its most bestial, it is a war between a manipulated slice of sunni muslim bigots who simply hate anything not like them and a majority who, either because of wealth or satiety, prefers to watch the event play out underneath its collective balcony, leaving those committed souls in the Syrian security infrastructure, Sunnis and other minorities, to smother the murdering fanatics.  But, ultimately, it is a war between modern thinking and reaction.  It is a war the Syrian government must win. I believe, the victory must be overwhelming, its aftermath punctuated by scenes so horrific the mayhem cannot be repeated again.  Shades of Scipio!

When you see Syrian exiles meeting in Istanbul or Antalya, Turkey, it is easy to forget that these individuals haven’t been to their homeland in decades.  They are usually wanted criminals, dressed up in business suits, who have settled in foreign countries and pine for the land they will never see again unless, of course, they can finagle some change in government favorable to them.  They are a strange mating of misfits – islamists like the Muslim Brotherhood, communists, jaded academics whose only purpose is to give the “movement” that “look of serious focus”, or physician/bigots whose family names hint at their non-Syrian origins – and Ottoman-influenced programming.  In truth, they are an exiled and  impotent crowd.  While they may look really organized – they aren’t.  The only organized group are the terrorists who do the dirty work for Qatar, Saudi Arabia, Britain and the U.S.  They’re the ones who set the ambushes for Syrian soldiers and who blithely place bombs on trains. But they are being exterminated.

No one in his right mind would want a change of government in Syria.  It would be catastrophic to have a gathering of inept Dummlinge like those forming a fantasy parliament in a foreign country.  Syria produces its own ground-to-ground missiles like the Scud-B, inter alia.  Syria manufactures its own field assault rifles. Syria deploys Yakhont ground-to-sea missiles purchased from Russia; S-300 anti-aircraft missiles; thousands of SA-9 shoulder fired missiles; chemical weapons like Sarin, VTX and mustard gasses; thousands of tanks and half-tracks, HIND helicopter gunships, .  What would happen if these weapons fell into the hands of islamists?

Dr. Assad knows the risks and he is taking this matter very seriously.  Sadly, the Arabians to the south, whose DNA has been so damaged by years of exposure to the sun, inbreeding, conformism and systematic promotion of ignorance, cannot understand that they are writing their own death warrant when they support terrorism in Syria.  I hope Chris will see that no matter how defective the Syrian government may appear to be, it still has the capacity of improve within a framework of modernistic thinking.  The alternative is a reversion to a society in which there is no free will and a soul-smothering philosophy of irrationalism. 

MERCURY NEWS SERVICE EXCLUSIVE – Berlin – Seiji Itchynose – Special to MNS – A diplomatic brawl is in the offing.  The German Chancellory has confirmed that the Prince of Gutter, Drum son of Doubledrum Husband of Madame Banana, is holed up at his own embassy in Berlin refusing to leave unless he is granted a “special permit” to safely travel to Rammstein Airbase where his chartered Hercules Transport is waiting for instructions.  His wife, First Lady Madame Banana, who is referred to as “Die Banane” by the Germans has confirmed the negotiations with Frau Merkel are “difficult and really boring”.  It appears that the Gutteri (Qatari) government is insisting on lifting the prince on to a lorry operated by the European branch of the Brooklyn, New York-based Seven Santini Brothers.  The Berlin municipal authorities have nixed however any use of a “winch” to raise the somewhat portly prince from the embassy compound citing public safety issues. Herr Eckhardt Von Sauerstoff, chief of protocol, at the Foreign Ministry, said to this reporter:
“Our people are right.  This prince is not just portly.  He is an enormous bladder of gelatinized suet which if dropped from the winch could cause serious damage to our city. An Erdbeben, you know.”  And that’s where we are at now in the negotiations.  The prince’s personal physician, German-born, Baldur Hasenpfeffer, is at his side and has commented to the press: “The prince suffered an explosion some weeks ago leaving him in a fragile state.  Please do not discuss the failure of the Syrian business.”  There will be continuing coverage of this event.  Ziad Abu Fadel.