September 10, 2011 – I watched on Syrian TV yesterday Lt. Gen. Dawood Rajiha, Chief of the Syrian General Staff, address the new graduating class of military engineers from the Assad Military Academy in Aleppo. The class was all spit-and-polish with a ceremony that was solemn and serious. I remember when the Syrian army used to march in parades with a somewhat awkward, asymmetrical style that was sadly unimpressive. I believe that the marching improved along with the discipline during the tenure of Lt. Gen. Hassan Turkmani. Today, Gen. Rajiha clearly has enforced the rigour and precise style inaugurated by Turkmani. I was proud to see them march in a synchronous manner reminiscent of the best military styles of Japan and Germany. (You should see the North Korean army march!) They acquitted themselves extremely well and made me look forward to the day when they will face the Zionist Abomination in a theatre of war to end the cancer that the British Mandate brought to Syria.
I am pleased to inform you that three miserable low-life military deserters who had betrayed their country by assisting salafist terrorist were killed yesterday in Homs. Some Western media refer to them as “defectors” in an effort to psycholgically affect the way people absorb the news. They are deserters, pure and simple. They are traitors who should have been taken alive and hanged in a public place, their sickening corpses fed to an hellish fire, their ashes ground into a fine flour and given to the riotous winds of the desert. These dogs should never be turned over to any so-called “family”. Their family is a nest of lizards wallowing in the nitred crevices of Erebus.
URGENT. MERCURY NEWS SERVICE: Gert Van Schtuff-Holstein reporting. The Abdul-Aziz Center for Epidemiology in Dammam, Saudi Arabia, has warned non-Arabian oil workers, including Americans, about a raging plague of Sexually Transmitted Diseases spread by members of the Saudi ruling family. The contagion is particularly insidious because it is a “crime to deny any member of the Royal Family sexual favours regardless of the gender of the individual or the kinkiness of the request”. Saudi nationals can be beheaded for such refusals. Of particular interest is the origin of this law which, like the one banning driving automobiles by females, is based on a “Fatwa” or religious decree. In this instance the fatwa was issued by Sheikh Tuzz Ibn Tazztazz Al-Taltamees of Ta’izz, Yemen, who lives in Arabia under the protection of notorious sex pervert and pederast, the Emir Khruyyan Effendi Ibn Abdel Aziz Ibn Saud Ibn Khayba. Sheikh Tuzz’s previous fatwas have been questioned by scholars at Al-Azhar in Cairo with one describing him as “an intellectual runt”, another as “curiously incompatible” and “smelling of smegma”. Dr. Abelard Pouffe of the Epidemiology Center described the situation as follows: “When you have a royal family with incestuous origins, you are going to encounter bizarre mutations in the most ordinary of diseases. In this case, thanks to the Saudi royal family, we have a type of syphlis totally resistant to antibiotics. It immediately attacks the brain leaving the victim incapable of thinking clearly with a curious co-dependency condition exemplified by the Saudi need to have Americans around. The spread of this disease into the population is attributable to King Abdallah’s latest order that royals intermix with “everybody”. What a disaster!”
But Dr. Kalvin Hundtzahn of the same institute adds that when royal males found out that “they did not have to sleep with their first cousins or sisters anymore, they opted for the favourite Arabian pastime of sleeping with, literally, everybody, including unrelated males of all ages. This is where the contagion started.”
The Atlanta National Center for Disease Control has issued a directive to all Americans in Saudi Arabia or areas which “are genetically similar to Arabia such as the UAE and Qatar” to stay away from any predatory-looking Arabian male from the royal family. They are numerous and described as foaming at the mouth, with bleeding gums, purulent saliva, rolling eyeballs, cloven hoofs and cloaked in a foul odour reminiscent of Camembert cheese or old socks. One American employee of Aramco laughingly described the problem as “Zombie Hullabaloo Arabian Style” or “Night of the Living Dead Saudis”. The Center is looking at the possibility that a new AIDS virus has been identified in blood samples taken from royal family members. WHO advisors warn that this might be the plague of the 21st Century. MNS