November 2, 2011 – Last Friday in Syria, the opposition was in for a real waker-upper.  Syrian Political Security teams waited patiently for the yawn-inducing demonstration to end in the Khaldiyya quarter, then pounced on over 60 organizers in their homes or while they were sitting in cafes.  It was a demonstration that the Syrian security establishments had drawn a bead on the major figures in the dissident movement and was in a position to shut the lid on them.  Efforts by some to leave the area dressed in casual clothing with make-up failed miserably as the cordon around the area was so tight no one was allowed to leave without being searched.  Even female agents of Syrian security were available to search the women, some of whom turned out to be men.  One such fool was Mustapha Al-Dakk, a villager who came in to participate in the sedition.  He was dressed in the manner of a traditional muslim woman, veil and all with only one alluring shortcoming: he was built like a defensive lineman for the Detroit Lions.  After some protestations on his part, he was taken into custody for a warbling session.

Which brings us to the subject of warbling.  Stool pigeons like to warble.  Some call it rat-finking, snitching or just informing.  I like warbling.  And so many have started to warble that the entire network set up by France (the main culprit) and the Hariri syndicate has begun to collapse.  Syrian security agents know how to properly extract information quickly after decades of perfecting the art with hands on experience.  I have been told that their expertise is so well-respected that arrestees will often implicate their own mothers at the outset in order to avoid the expected application of “technique”.  I feel very safe knowing that such professionals are recognized by the opposition whose only hope, once snared, is to cooperate to the fullest extent possible.  This has enabled Syrian customs and border security to interdict many loads of weapons coming across both the Lebanese and Turkish frontiers.  I just saw one truck on Addounia carrying vegetables over the A’dhamiyya transfer junction being detained and searched with four crates of light weapons being found.  The driver will not merely receive a ticket for overweight load.  The driver will warble and expose the principal malfeasor behind this cheap little stunt.

There is little news to be found in the major news outlets.  As you know, I, like so many others, stopped watching Al-Jazeera a long time ago because it not only lost many of its finest journalists but because it had become a tool of Prince Fatso’s propaganda machine.  But even the New York Times, with its inanely anti-Assad reportage coming through the questionnable resources of Anthony Shadid and his ninny wife, Nada Bakri, appeared to be tinged with deal-making – a concession some news sources will make in order to have guaranteed access to exclusive stories.  I wrote about this before.  The State Department and the New York Times – zionist machinations converging through the world of spin and psychological manipulation.  Well studied and well done but for one crucial omission: failure to tell the anti-Assad derelicts the real truth about their chances.  Dim to slim to none.  Even the BBC fell victim to that need to enter the rarefied world of Whitehall – promises of rare glimpses and “for you eyes only” revelations.  Oh, how the editors rubbed their palms. 

It started with outright lying and dissemination of smut.  Remember, the first Syrian diplomat to defect to the opposition was Lamia Shakkour, ambassador to France.  Problem: Lamia Shakkour, Christian daugher of one of Syria’s most famous generals, Youssef Shakkour, had no idea she had  defected.  People who heard the voice of the woman who pretended to be Madame Shakkour, confirmed that it was not the ambassador. How embarrassing for France, for the NYT, for the BBC and all associated with an oncoming farrago of lies. 

And what about the tragic story of Hamza Al-Khatib.  You see the boy from Dera’a was taken into custody and tortured.  He was castrated and subjected to every kind of mistreatment the Ottoman Turks could devise.  But, after all was said and done, forensic specialists determined that the marks on the boy’s body, including castration, were post-mortem.  The salafist dogs who gained custody of the body before the family could see it,  performed every ghoulish act of mutilation that the Islamic religion does not allow.  And the story was picked up by the BBC, the NYT and especially, Al-Jazeera.

Then there was Zeinab Al-Hosni.  Even more famous now than little Hamza, she was taken by Syrian security agents and tortured to death.  She was beheaded and returned to her family.  Problem.  After some weeks of ear-splitting denunciations by Human Rights Watch and Amnesty International, all calling for immediate intervention to prevent further killings such as this, the young lady appears and castigates all the “lying news media” in an appearance on television that convinced her mother she was indeed among the living.  She had escaped her home out of fear of more domestic violence from her brothers.  HRW and AI, all were ruddy-faced, crow-stuffed, humble-pie-engorged.  They demanded, therefore, in an effort to deflect attention from the miserable way they promoted this pack of lies, to know who the girl was in the photograph they had.  After all, someone was beheaded.  The idiots at the HRW and AI couldn’t figure out that the only groups who behead people are the salafist-jihadists – the same people fighting Dr. Assad’s government.   They could not put that together.

And then there was Colonel Hantoush who may have to be mentioned in the past tense since his return to Syria.  His crazed, inconsistent and colorful vituperations about soul-searching moments when ordered to shoot at innocent, unarmed, freedom-loving, democracy-craving mobs of illiterates drove the BBC, NYT and Al-Jazeera into an orgasm of pontification.  At least, until they found out that Colonel Hantoush was a pathological liar.

MERCURY NEWS SERVICE SPECIAL REPORT – From Ankara – Mahomet Entessab Hamamet reporting.  TURKS DISAPPOINTED WITH SYRIAN HAYSEED DEFECTORS.  In a rare interview with retired Turkish general Ahmet Basbug, former Chief of Staff, we were able to gauge the extent to which the Turkish government might go to promote the newly declared “Free Syrian Army” – all 40 of them, led by one, Colonel Riad Al-As’ad.  General Basbug waved them off as “a group of invincibly ignorant malcontents and smelly human refuse”.  Those were strong words coming from a general in comfortable retirement. He went on to say: “When they first arrived like sneaky weasels, we though they might be the start of something bigger.  Then we realized they wanted asylum and a visit to the American Consulate in Ankara.  The Americans, of course, only wanted to interview them in Antioch. No green cards for them.”  When we asked the general what chance these people had to actually affect events in Syria, he responded as follows: “Their only problem is waking up.  We have had a hard time getting them up before eleven to meet reporters.  When our government gave that colonel a suit,  one of our aides had to teach him to tie his cravat. Very awkward. He still can’t tie it.”  We asked if Colonel Al-As’ad was another Colonel Hantoush.  “Well, if he’s a colonel, it must be from the State of Kentucky.  We’re not even sure he’s Syrian.”  We shall keep our readers abreast of new developments concerning Colonel Al-As’ad.     

I must admit that despite my reservations, I like what Mahmoud Abbas is doing irk the zionists.  Palestine, which is just southern Syria, is now a member of UNESCO.  It’s a nice step forward toward freedom from slavic zionist tyranny.  I know that Prime Minister Benny Mileikowski (Netanyahu) is miffed.  I know that hyprocrite Hillary Clinton is tiffed.  It’s okay.  Lord Baybars is coming soon.