Sunday, November 13, 2011 – I was positively delighted to read that the opprobrium-laden Arab League had suspended Syria from its meetings. While I do appreciate the support of Lebanon, Yemen and Iraq, I really don’t care. Syria’s membership in that dis-organization was a constant reminder to me of how much money and time had been wasted in pursuit of a chimera – Arab unity. There is only one way to achieve Arab unity – take a page from military chieftains like Saladdin, Baybars or even Uqba Bin Nafi’. I have been writing about Syria withdrawing from the Arab League, a/k/a Scarab League, and have gone to far as to encourage it. But that would have been too radical from the uncreative Syrian government. In any case, who cares? No one has yet to write a history of the organization. It would not qualify as a master’s thesis. Congratulations, Syria for the freedom you now can enjoy. If Dr. Assad does not order a withdrawal of his ambassadors from the offending Arab countries, then, shame on him. Schade! Schade!
MERCURY NEWS SERVICE EXCLUSIVE – PRESIDENT OBAMA APPOINTS JERRY SANDUSKY, DISGRACED PEDOPHILE OF PENN STATE, AMBASSADOR TO QATAR!
Victoria Nuland, spokesentity for the State Department, stern-facedly announced today the appointment of Jerry Sandusky American ambassador to Qatar. The unusual appointment follows a rancor-filled week of scandalous revelations concerning Mr. Sandusky’s behavior at Penn State, where he spent his spare time away from coaching football, buggering little boys in showers and tool sheds. Ms. Nuland added: “The president believes that Coach Sandusky’s peculiar `flair’, if you will, will serve the U.S. well in Qatar”. For our reader’s information, Qatar is the world’s most densely populated nation of pederasts, transvestites, pedophiles, homosexuals, incest-spawn and sex-change aspirants. The Michelin Guide described it as: “Almost in outer space. A unique opportunity to experience life at its most seamy, most sleazy. It is the quintescence of that laureled seediness described by the German-born American poet Charles Buchinsky as “where life meets the squashed turd on the street; the rough trade made sweet by unwashed armpits and unclipped toenails”. When asked how the president could appoint a man so suspect in the eyes of the American public, she responded: “Well, it’s not like he killed anybody!” Efforts to contact Coach Sandusky met with failure and a repeated electronic message: “Hi, kids. It’s Jerry’s Party Time. Just come over after four and we’ll play Where’s Your Finger”. His spokesman, Francis Mange, stated that “Mr. Sandusky is considering accepting the appointment on certain conditions.” When MNS learns the details of the conditions, we shall inform our readers.
With the BBC, NYT, CNN, and western media writhing in euphoric, auto-erotic, self-injected morphine-induced ecstasy after the useless and meaningless act of suspending Syria from the Scarab League, we at SyrPer are delighted to announce that the pacifistic, peace-loving, pro-democracy activists in Homs expressed their rage yesterday in Homs by burning Christian-owned businesses. How do we know?
Because one of the christian businesses is owned and operated by my brother-in-law’s sister, Renee Haddad. Oh, thank you BBC for the wondersful support you have the salafists, jihadists, takfiris, islamists, and terrorists in Syria.