December 20, 2011 – Tuesday is Puzzle Day at MNS – Try your hand at this one published by the Arab American News for December 17-23. See if you can pick out the howlers in the test below and see the answers at the end. Good Luck. Lucretius the Sphinx.
EX-FBI OFFICIAL: U.S. TROOPS SURROUNDING SYRIA FOR POSSIBLE COUP
A former official within the ranks of the Federal Bureau of Investigation is reporting that U.S. and NATO forces have landed outside Syria and are training militants to overthrow the regime of President Bashar Al-Assad.
Whistleblower Sibel Edmonds, formerly a translator with the FBI, wrote over the weekend that American soldiers are among the NATO troops that have mysteriously and suddenly landed on the Jordanian and Syrian border. According to her, several sources internationally have confirmed the news, although the U.S. media has been instructed to temporarily censor itself from reporting the news.
Additionally, Edmonds says that American and NATO forces are training Turkish troops as well , to possibly launch a strike from the north of Syria.
Edmonds writes that an Iraqi journalist, based out of London has confirmed that U.S. forces that vacated the Ain Al-Assad Air Base in Iraq last week did in fact leave the country as part of President Obama’s drawdown of troops, but rather than return home, the soldiers were transferred into Jordan during the late hours of Thursday evening. Another source, writes Edmonds, informs her that “soldiers who speak languages other than Arabic” have been moving through Jordan mere miles from the country’s borders with Syria. Troops believed to be NATO/American-affiliated have been spotted between the King Hussein Air Base in Al-Mafraq and the Jordanian village of Albaej and its vicinity.
Nizar Nayouf, a correspondent for Edmonds Boiling Frog Post whistleblower site, says an employee of the London-based offices of Royal Jordanian Airlines has further confirmed that least one aircraft transporting military personnel has brought American troops into Jordan in recent days. Nayouf, the former editor-in-chief of Sawt-Al-Democratiyya, had previously been sentenced to a decade behind bars for critiquing the Syrian government. He later won several human rights awards and the 2000 UNESCO prize for press freedom.
Since the uprising of rebel forces opposing al-Assad’s regime over Syria nearly a year ago, American officials have been critical of the country’s government but insist that they have otherwise distanced themselves from becoming involved in the protests. Following the deaths of dozens of protesters in the spring of 2011, the United States imposed strict sanctions against the official government of Syria.
Navi Pillay, the U.N.’s high commissioner for human rights, revealed this week that the uprising in Syria has caused over 5,000 deaths since it began in early 2011. In the case of the crackdown against former Libyan leader Moammar Gaddafi’s regime, NATO (sic) involvement began only one month into the uprising. Nine months later, the total death toll of the Libyan Civil War is estimated to be close to 30,000.
In her report, Edmonds says that NATO troops have been training soldiers just outside Syria since as early as May, and that US media is prohibited from reporting on it until today. The Turkish paper Milliyet also reports that defected Syrian colonel Riad Al-Assad (sic) is preparing troops to take over the Syrian government as well. RT
1. Former officials of the FBI are especially well-informed about military movements in Jordan because:
a. The FBI is a branch of the Jordanian army;
b. The FBI is responsible for transporting American soldiers from bases in Asia;
c. Former FBI officials are just plainly smarter than the rest of us;
d. Former FBI officials retain access to classified Pentagon reports even after retirement.
e. None of the above.
2. A whistle blower is a person who:
a. purses his lips and blows air through the opening;
b. handles the alarm on a train;
c. is really happy when working;
d. a referee, umpire or judge at a sporting event;
e. a rat fink or snitch.
3. The journalist in London to which Ms. Edmonds refers is:
a. David Frost;
b. Christianne Amanpour;
c. James Murdoch;
d. Rupert Murdoch;
e. I just don’t know.
4. American and NATO forces are training Turkish troops because;
a. The Turks are just so stupid;
b. Turkey is a member of NATO with no serious military program;
c. The Turks have forgotten how to invade other countries and need the U.S. to help them;
d. The Turks are really, really stupid.
e. The Turks are more than stupid – they’re hopeless.
5. The Iraqi journalist to whom Ms. Edmonds refers is:
a. Haroun Al-Rashid;
b. Salman Rushdi;
c. Rifaat Al-Assad’s son, Sawmar;
d. Rami Abdel-Rahman;
e. Made up source.
6. The Ain Al-Assad Air Base in Iraq is named after:
a. Dr. Bashar Al-Assad, president of Syria;
b. Hafez Al-Assad, former president of Syria;
c. Haile Selassie, the Lion of Judah;
d. Leonidas, King of the Spartans;
e. There’s no base named for Al-Assad.
7. The Royal Jordanian Airlines employee who confirmed that, at least, one American aircraft landed in Jordan is revealing top secret info because:
a. He’s a real queer;
b. He promotes tourism and U.S. soldiers are great customers;
c. He’s not happy about competition from American military flights;
d. He’s going to be fired soon;
e. He doesn’t really exist and the statement is Ms. Edmonds’.
8. NAVI PILLAY is:
a. A cheap WOG originally from the subcontinent;
b. A Chaiwallah for her British employer;
c. A Buddhist massage parlor in Hamtramck;
d. Edna St. Vincent Millay’s half sister;
e. A Chaiwallah for her American employer.
9. The U.S. media has been prohibited from reporting on the build-up and training because:
a. The U.S. media cares alot about staying mum when the government says “don’t print this”;
b. The U.S. government under Obama is a socialist tyranny with control over the media;
c. The U.S. media never reveals information unless its ok’d by the U.S;
d. The U.S. media is a branch of NATO;
e. The U.S. media will publish anything regardless of the government’s position.
10. Riad Al-Assad, the defected Syrian colonel, is:
a. Dr. Bashar Al-Assad’s favorite uncle;
b. The man for whom the Iraqi base is named;
c. The next president of Syria with the last name of Al-Assad;
d. An intelligent, refined man with a broad education in Sanskrit;
e. An inarticulate rube perfectly suited for the Turks.
11. RT, the letters at the end of the article stand for:
a. Roast Turkey;
b. Rita Tushingham;
c. Ribald Telemetrics, Ltd.
d. Ranulph Tarte-Foote, Esq.
e. No one with any brains.
If any of your answered any question from a to d, we recommend a quick trip to the ER to rule out a diagnosis of hydrocephalism, advanced syphlis or just consummate retardation.