January 16, 2012 – Some of you may have extricated yourselves from the armchair you occupied during the seemingly endless concatenation of football games on Sunday. You may have arisen to use the restroom before attending the interview which Bob Simon conducted with Prince Fatso of Catarrh. It was the second segment which, given all the daily hoopla, promised to be a real stinkbomb of a story: pssst, the portly porcine prince was going to “suggest” that the Arab League send troops into Syria. The question was asked by Bob Simon in a way that clearly “suggested” pre-planning accompanied by a nice, fat cheque for CBS and probably a gratuity for Mr. Simon who, as far as we know, is not practicing pedophile.
The first impression we had of the rotund “royal” was his noticable loss of weight. Could this be due to the pitiless baiting at the hands of SyrPer’s ever-adroit staff? It may well be. Yet, as we looked at the wiggly-jiggly sphere of suet under the nightshirt, it was clear that little had actually changed. From the prince’s gargoyle-like visage radiated the ineffable addiction to prepubescent male children and a pallor suggesting cannibalism.
Oh, Simon narrated lovingly the rise of the Qatari skyline in Doha, the capital, with the usual adorations: “It’s buildings seem to have been designed by architects who never talked to one another”. Or something like that. And, there was the inevitable weigh-in by Prince Humdrum son of Doldrum, the Prime Minister and Foreign Minister, who ranted about something having to do with “not spoiling our young people”. Oh, agony!
But here was the McGuffin: “Yes, I think sending troops to Syria would be good to stop the killing.” Well, people! What troops? If its Qatari troops, let me disabuse you now of any misconceptions: Qatar has nothing to offer but a few jets which will be knocked down the moment they enter Syrian airspace. When the Obese Ogre of Catarrh brings up this subject at the next meeting of the Arab League, he will be laughed out of the hall and ridiculed mercilessly, just as he was last week when he was unceremoniously ejected from Mauretania by its president who found it difficult to tolerate the foul stench Prince Fatso exuded as a part of a lecture on democratic principles.
Incidentally, the Second Rate Tribe to which the Prince belongs, has been ruling Qatar for 150 years. So much for his take on democracy.