THIRD POST – March 12, 2012 – I left the post for only a half-hour and found that it published what was written without my permission. Oh, Lost!
CONTINUED REVIEW OF “HAMBURGERS”: (Scroll down for first part)
You will find no hamburgers with fanciful and delusional names like: The Mickey Mantle Patty, The Judge Dredd Burger or The Southern Crusher. No, here, it’s just a hamburger with ltm. Straight talk and that’s it.
The rest of the menu, which is pinned to the wall above the customer’s head, very easy and optical-friendly, is rife with every classic American table ordinaire such as: basket of 21 shrimp (so fresh, you can see them jumping out of the bag from which Walt clutches them), Chicken fingers, gyro sandwich and fries (quite tasty for the price and reeking of its Greek origins), grilled ham and cheese and that perennial favorite, “egg salad on rye”. Walt doesn’t bother making specials. As he says: “Everything special here”. The cuisine is properly classified as “traditional urban deep fried craving slop”: a perfect palliative for those tedious mornings when one awakens in a disoriented funk, stinking of bourbon and smoke.
Breakfast is consistent with the requirements of TUDFCS cooking. Eggs and hand-sliced ham; bacon and the rest; all prepared with Walt’s tried-and-tested technique of standing hunched over the grill and paying close attention to every bubble of the bacon grease over which we all slobber in our dreams.
The customers at “Hamburgers” are mostly petit bourgeois bus-stop transients; people without a care in the world. A SMART bus station is perfectly located just outside the restaurant’s door, a phenomenon that is so under-appreciated when a customer is perfervidly delectating over one of Walt’s incredible creations that he forgets where he is at. Since “Hamburgers” does not open for dinner or during the late hours, there are no reported incidents of muggings or harassment (Cf. Telway).
Parking is curbside or at the side of the restaurant. We are pleased to inform all potential customers that the new Midwest Medical Clinic has recently opened to the general public just adjacent to “Hamburgers” and is prepared to treat gastro-intestinal disorders on an emergency basis. Although Walt and his wife run a very clean operation, sometimes the conversation to the left or right of you, can trigger digestive distress or excessive secretion of stomach acid. Ear plugs can be very useful in such circumstances. Mercifully, no juke box is visible at the restaurant.