THIRD POST – SYRIAN STATE NEWS REPORTS AGENTS FIND 150 MISSING GOVERNMENT AUTOS IN HOMS; MORE NEWS FROM SYRIA; MNS REPORTS ENVIRONMENTAL MIRACLE IN DAMASCUS!

THIRD POST – Monday, March 26, 2012 – SYRIAN STATE T.V. REPORTS 150 STOLEN AUTOS FOUND IN BABA AMR.  THIEVES WERE THE CHEAPER SYRIAN ARMY LED BY DEFROCKED COLONEL RIAD AL-AS’AD.

Last night Syrian state television reported that agents of the security services finally found 150 automobiles and vans stolen by the terrorist network which calls itself the Free Syrian Army. But there may be more to this than meets the eye.  The vans were being fitted for “improvised explosive devices” (IEDs) which are similar to those used effectively against U.S. and U.K. forces in Iraq. These devices are, also,  known to have a very extensive anti-civilian statistic and represent one of the world’s most brutal type of mass terrorism.    

Also from Syria, via my friend Monzer: ten terrorists were killed outside Dera’a yesterday as they were approaching an oil pipe feeder.  Syrian helicopters swooped down on the criminals and dispatched them to a man.  We now know with certainty that Syria has a lethal arsenal of pilot-less drones which are helping the security services to interdict terrorist infiltrators before they can reach their targets. 

President Cream O’ Wheat Obama and Dufus of the Year Nominee, Rejep Tayyip Erdoghan, have agreed to provide the Syrian opposition with “non-lethal” supplies such as communication equipment and medicine.  Turks should be careful here; Syria can do the same for the PKK, Turkey’s everpresent nightmare in Northern Iraq.  The Kurdistan Workers’ Party (PKK)  is champing at the bit to go after Turkish armor with some of Syria’s vast stores of anti-tank missiles.  Wouldn’t it be nice, too, if they got some SA-9 shoulder-fired anti-aircraft missiles for those pesky Turkish bombers?

Idlib Privince is under total control but for some pockets of withering terrorist cells.  Human Rights Watch, which is now a kept woman for Prince Pedophile of Catarrh, has accused the Syrian army of using “children” as human shields, forcing them to walk in the path of tanks.  This is pure hokum!
Syrian soldiers who have liberated some towns regularly permit children to climb on their tanks for a “pleasureride”.  Don’t believe anything HRW or Amnesty International write or say. 

THE ARAB LEAGUE IS MEETING IN BAGHDAD!!!  This is momentous folks. I mean, this is NEWS!

Hoshyar Zebari, Iraq’s Kurdish foreign minister, seen here listening to security reports about Saudi and Qatari child molesting diplomats prowling Baghad’s streets.  He asked for a Tylenol tablet and a shot of cognac.

That’s right folks, the Arab League is meeting again for some reason.  Curiously absent is Syria which was suspended from membership by the historically sluggish and ineffectual Pan-Arab organization. Almost everyone agrees that an Arab League without Syria is a travesty.  We here at SyrPer disagree. It is time for Syria to get on with the business of progress and leave the stinking Arabs behind. It’s either we join the First World or languish in the dubious darkness of Arabian islamist retrograde existence.  Go Syria!  Stay away from the Arab League.    

MERCURY NEWS SERVICE REPORT:  “AIR QUALITY IN DAMASCUS IS NOW 500% BETTER THANKS TO TURKS CLOSING THEIR EMBASSY! 

Hercules Pompadour reporting from Damascus.   The Syrian Environmental Bureau for Air Quality has certified the air in Damascus as 500% better today after Turkish diplomats left the capital.  Last year when the Saudi Arabians, Qataris, Kuwaitis and Emirates withdrew their legations from Damascus, air quality shot up to 400% improved according to Dr. Khorshid Nakhshabandi of the University of Damascus Department for the Study of Foul Odours.  “It is amazing”, he said to this reporter, “It’s like Turks and Arabians from the Peninsula share a common gene for stench.” 

This picture taken yesterday shows the crystaline quality of Damascus air after the last Turkish diplomat had left the embassy.

In a curious development in the second city, Aleppo, the Turkish Consulate was left open by Turkey which caused a massive demonstration by the residents demanding that Ankara close down its presence so that the city’s air quality could also improve.  Turkey has refused to do so and reported the demonstration as “anti-Assad” even though it was “anti-stench”.  Al-Jazeera and Al-Arabiyya networks followed suit by showing scenes from the demonstration as “anti-government” despite signs which read clearly in Arabic: “Go Away Smelly Turks”.