Former British Prime Minister, Gorden Brown, won last week’s Brainteaser and a box of Somalian bananas.  He will also receive tickets for a fully paid trip to Big Tunb, Little Tunb and Abu-Musa islands in the Persian Gulf.  Congratulations Mr. Brown.

Here we go again. Last week’s Brainteaser was a big success with thousands of responses tallied.  The winner was, amazingly, former P.M. and perennial “sulky freak” of the U.K, Gordon Brown.  He reportedly danced a Scottish jig in his paisley kilt while holding a bottle of Glendronach scotch after hearing he had won the coveted weekly prize. His trip is awaiting the Iranian government’s permission. 

You have only one hour to complete the ten questions. Don’t cheat or you’ll grow hair on your tongue.

1.  Brussels sprouts have that name because:

a.  They are a Belgian cabbage first cultivated in Brussels;
b.  The name is really a corruption of Bruxelles Schplotts which is easier to pronounce;
c.  This is really a name for a type of explosive first used by Napoleon in Belgium;
d.  It’s really a corruption of “Fuller Brush”, which is a delicious vegetable in Northern France;
e.  It’s called that because it sounds like something that tastes really bad.

2.  Who wrote the 60’s classic: “He’s a Rebel”?

a.  Nick Adams?
b.  Gene Pitney?
c.  Ardeshir Zahedi?
d.  Robert E. Lee?
e.  Jimmy Webb?

3.  Who is considered the best English villain?

a.  Dr. No?
b.  Winston Churchill?
c.  Dr. Moriarty?
d.  Hugo Drax?
e.  Winston Churchill?

4.   Adolph Hitler was a villain to England; what was he to the gypsies of Europe?

a.  A really strict taskmaster?
b.  A sucker who believed in crystal balls and palmistry?
c.  An afficionado of the accordion?
d.  A happy-go-lucky dude who liked to exterminate whole ethnic groups?
e.  A die-hard opponent of traveling carnivals?

5.  Gypsies are politely called “Roma”.  Why is that?

a.  They are really citizens of Rome and deserve that appellation;
b.  Their women resemble the tomato of that name;
c.  No one can sing “Arrivederci Roma” like a gypsy with a violin;
d.  It’s really short form for “aroma” which is because they really smell bad after a road trip;
e.  They’re from Romania and that’s the only reason. It’s not because of Sanskrit.

6.  What’s the recipe for chicken paprikash as prepared by Hungarian gypsies?

a.  You force-feed the chicken two pounds of paprika pepper for two weeks before preparation;
b.  You sniff paprika and sneeze on to the dressed chicken before cooking;
c.  You kill the chicken with paprika spray after laying waste to the entire coop;
d.  You bless the chicken with paprika then cook it feathers and all in a Dutch oven;
e.  First you steal the chicken. 

7.  Greece is bringing Europe down economically because:

a.  Greeks are just bad luck, hence, Greek tragedies;
b.  Greeks are lazy, shiftless Mediterranean folk who have no time for work;
c.  Greeks insist on retiring at the age of 48 years no matter what;
d.  Greeks are like termites, they eat away at German furniture until it collapses;
e.  All of the above.

8.  Russian foreign minister Sergei Lavrov likes to visit Syria for the following reason:

a.  He gets free R&R on the Admiral Kuznetsov aircraft carrier in Tartous harbor;
b.  Lavrov is half Armenian and gets a kick out of going to Aleppo to eat khashkash kabob;
c.  Lavrov hates vodka and prefers Syrian hooch (Arak) any day;
d.  Lavrov is quite a ladies’ man who leers at Mrs. Asma Al-Assad;
e.  He likes to play “Shoot the Islamist” gallery at the Damascus Provincial Carnival.

9.  The Ford Motor Company is producing a new, top secret car; what is its name?

a.  The Fustian;
b.  The Fussbudget;
c.  The Froufrou;
d.  The Flatus;
e.  How do I know? It’s a secret, right?

10.  What is the subject of “She walks in beauty like the night” by Byron?

a.  John Keats in drag?
b.  Percy Shelley’s fiancee, Mary Wollstonecraft;
c.  Queen Victoria while somnambulating?
d.  Ophelia, Duchess of Asquith-on-Bubbleshire?
e.  One of his strumpets in London.

Don’t forget, you can’t use any dictionaries or encyclopedias.  Good luck.