Congratulations are in order for leading spiritual personility, Maharishi Mahesh Shree Rajneesh Proscia, Guru of Mumbai and Flatbush, on the birth of his new grandson, Noah Bazzi.  Noah was born two days ago at a healthy 6.5 lbs in Oakwood Hospital in Dearborn, Michigan.  The proud parents are Allison Proscia, Guru Proscia’s daughter, and Kamal Bazzi, Noah’s Lebanese father and son-in-law of the Guru.

Relying on the age-old maxim that “all newborns look alike”, we have selected this cutie as an appropriate exemplar for Noah Bazzi.  Look! It’s the best I can do given my technical abilities

The Guru, whose obsessions run the gamut from “Star Trek” conventions to Beatles’ albums, has vowed that his grandson would translate the Fab Four’s songs into Klingon!  He has announced his intention, also, to provide his grandson with all “that he needs to take care of business, (if you know what I mean?)”  He uttered that with his patented Brooklyn accent. 

Congratulations also to my son, Leith Ziad Abu Fadel, upon his graduation from Eastern Michigan University with a B.A. (majoring in finance); and to his girlfriend, Phoebe Coneybeare, who graduated from the Honors College at EMU.  Both are planning further education and work in the New York City area. 

My son, Leith, is to the right holding some vulgarly-named elixir emblematic of modern, post-adolescent boorishness and tastelessness.  His friend looks on disapprovingly.  

  Leith’s girlfriend, Phoebe Coneybeare, is pictured here posing in some Pepsodent commercial.
Getting back to that horrible Proscia character: I must say I have never seen the Guru so enlivened by anything as the birth of his grandson.  Where once he was universally regarded as a dour, nay, grizzled gargoyle of a man, rotundly nursing an assembly line of Budweiser pints, he has now transmogrified into something wholly distinctive: a charming, dancing elf, waving a wand from which coruscating comets disperse into the air bringing peace and love to all those willing to tolerate his foray into self-embarrassment and untreatable humiliation.  Congrats anyways, Guru.     

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It was economics not finance…