SECOND POST – JUNE 19, 2012- Another unexpected, unexplained snafu.
MURI’ BIN ALI BIN ISSA AL-ASIRI IS PUT TO DEATH BY DECAPITATION (OF COURSE!) IN SAUDI ARABIA FOR PRACTICING WITCHCRAFT!!
What do you do when you have everything and life is so, so dull? If you are in Saudi Arabia, a long day’s journey into dread can be mitigated with a pleasant visit to the city center to watch a man beheaded for something as preposterous as “Sorcery”. I understand that you can bring your own chaise lounge and picnic basket.
“This is really great, Mom. Can we come here every week?” “Yes, honey. If you promise to always floss after brushing.”
As you all know, we at SyrPer consider Wahhabist Saudi Arabia to be nothing more than a destination for simian DNA or a Petri dish filled with deviant scabies and resistant sexually transmitted viruses. This ally of the United States and Britain, can do anything it pleases, (no matter how scandalous or perverted), and avoid coverage in the BBC and CNN. And this time, it’s for SORCERY in the TWENTY FIRST CENTURY!!!
MNS CORRESPONDENT, RUPERT BLUTGESCHWUR, reports from Canberra, Australia, that the International Association of Covens and Sorcerers’ Alternative Resolution League, has issued a:
SAUDI ARABIAN TRAVEL WARNING!!!
Reba Brimstone, Coven Queen of Treacle, Ohio, exhorts her colleagues to “curse every Saudi on the face of the earth”. She evidently sent a special imprecation for King Abdallah bin Abdel-Aziz: Psoriasis of the sinuses!!
The travel warning was specifically tied to an epidemic of “beheadings” in Saudi Arabia targeting people accused of practicing the “black arts”. Ooooh. In this particular instance, Mr. Al-Asiri, was found with all kinds of “witch paraphernalia” after a warrantless search of his home. Incident to “extraordinary” methods of interrogation, the man implicated the “spirit of his dead mother” in the shenanigans and professed to being “a prodigious adulterer”. Evidence pointed out that he had committed adultery with the Chief Wahhabist Booga-Booga Judge’s wife, an evidentiary issue that eliminated his appellate rights and expedited his sentence.
Mr. Al-Asiri is seen here in a photo taken by an undercover MNS photographer posing as a Saudi torturer. Ogden Orffe is expected to receive a nomination for the Wurlitzer Prize in photojournalism. According to Mr. Orffe, he was told that this phase was called the “appetizer”. Mr. Orffe also admits that he used the whip only five times.
Coverage of the beheadings in Arabia will continue as events develop.