SECOND POST – JUNE 3, 2012 – INTRODUCING NEW MERCURY NEWS SERVICE INSTALLMENT: “DON’T YOU JUST HATE?” Edited by Percy Forkschein.
I am repulsed each day when I pass a sign that encourages me to “adopt” some dog at the local pound. You see, as you cursorily study the ads, the dog you’re going to get looks inevitably like this:
He’s waiting to be your pedigree pet…all cute and cuddly. Just head down to the local doggie pound.
But, all Doubting Thomases know the truth about “falsehood in advertising”. They know the deceitfulness and skulduggery behind every fallacious pronouncement, especially, on billboards which latch quickly on to your subconscious as you pass them by at 70 mph. For if the truth be told without demur, the dog you are most likely to come home with will look like this:
This pooch, named “Dorff”, is owned byAustrian Jodel-Meister, Herr Schlabbermund.
Or like this prize beast:
An Ariel Sharon look-alike, this “collector’s item” of a canine is named “Gazooundz”!!!(Once owned proudly by Guru Maharishi Shree Rajneesh Proscia, the dog was subjected to time travel through Proscia-Time and returned with this expression on its face.)
Caveat Emptor! Don’t fall for the mellifluous warblings of female announcers describing the “loving and loyal” animal waiting to be yours at the local dog shelter. P. Forschein.