FIRST POST – JULY 2, 2012 NEWS IS COMING IN FAST AND FURIOUS FROM SYRIA. THIS WEEKLY BRIANTEASER IS THE MOST DAUNTING OF THEM ALL. GOOD LUCK!
1. How are Enchiladas, Tacos and Flautas related to Rigatoni, Mostaccioli and Penne?
a. They are words which end in a vowel;
b. They are always found in cheap restaurants with poor sanitary records;
c. They are generally served by oily people with olive complexions and body odor;
d. You must not eat any of them if your are on a low-carb diet;
e. They are the same thing with different shapes.
2. Dread is how an average person feels when….:
a. He is told by his dentist that the procedure will cause some “tenderness”;
b. When the siding company rep shows up for his 8:00 p.m. appointment;
c. A good friend insists that YOU take care of his pet St. Bernard for one week while he vacations;
d. Your insurance company sends a letter that starts: “We are sorry but must reject……”;
e. All the above.
3. Guy De Montpauillac-Charogne is France’s most famous;
a. Red light district;
c. Chef de Rongeur;
d. Professional party pooper;
4. A gaggle of geese, a murder of crows, an exultation of larks, a splatter of ……….?
a. DutchBoy paint cans;
b. Cherry tomatoes;
c. Rotting cadavers;
d. Puking coyotes;
5. George Sanders, the late British actor, died a suicide. Why?
a. He was rebuffed for marriage by Martina Navratilova;
b. His private chef, Serge LeVarmint, absconded with his prepcook, Barney after a sordid love affair;
c. The only offer he received was a cameo role on the RuPaul Show;
d. He protested China’s oppression of Tibet;
e. He was bored and believed “life was a sweet cesspool”.
6. Who survived Stalin’s rule over the USSR?
d. Viktor Abomonov;
7. Historically, the Emirate of Qatar produced the following great man:
a. Abdul-Camel Al-Banana;
b. Ahab the Arab;
c. Tiny Tim;
d. Chester the Child Molester;
8. Jay Carny, the W.H. spokesman, is related to what geat comedian?
a. Benny Hill?
b. Jack Benny?
d. Connie Chung?
e. Barack Obama?
9. Which actress has aged the best?
a. Brigitte Bardot;
b. Claudia Cardinale;
c. Lillian Gish;
d. Carol Lombard;
e. Raquel Welch.
10. In a blind poll of Americans, most people said this should be done with illegal aliens:
a. Beaten to death and cremated in someone’s backyard;
b. Used as bait in deep sea fishing;
c. Given U.S. citizenship if they can name all 50 states backwards;
d. Sent back to their countries of origin with amputated feet;
e. Put to work at subsistence wages.
Don’t forget the winner will be announced next week along with his/her prize.