AUGUST 20, 2012 – FOURTH POST – “WHERE ARE THEY NOW?”
Let’s see how up-to-date our readers are with this new installment about people who just seem to fly off the radar screen. WHERE IS?
1. RIAD HIJAB? He was only the Syrian Prime Minister for three months before he decided to flee to Jordan and diss President Assad. He spent the first week on the Jordanian border and then made it to Amman. From there he went to Qatar to pick up his check for one million dollars from Prince Fatso Husband of Madame Banana. But the check bounced. No kidding. After “defecting”, the NYT and the BBC began to run stories about how “honest” he was. The BBC trumpeted his defection in Oxonian notes, often belted out by its staff of white, torpid, turgid reporters. “Although he was not a member of the inner circle, he is the highest ranking government official to break with Assad…..” Remember? It was only a short time ago. He gave one memorable interview and claimed that Dr. Assad only controlled 30% of Syria and that his “regime” was crumbling “morally and financially”, while Dr. Assad was pummeling the FSA into Palookaville. Well, where is he now?
Hijab, whose name means “veil” in Arabic, donned many unusual outfits in order to escape scrutiny at the Jordanian border. This one had the customs officers laughing so much they waived him through.
Unable to find any role in the collapsing world of the FSA and the SNC, he found a job at the Amman Philadelphia Hotel serving drinks during Islamic Happy Hour. He is now called Minister of Punch by the waitstaff. He has applied for a job teaching agriculture and animal husbandry.
He goes by the name of Chico Martinez at the Philadelphia “Hustler’s Lounge”. Just Boffo!!!