Once again we visit the subject of our challenging Brainteaser competition. No pens allowed. Only pencils and a sheet of paper. Anyone caught cheating by using a research engine or encyclopedia will be forced to join the NACOSROFF!!
1. Proscia-Time, the proven phenomenological elongation of time, occurs best while……:
a. One is eating raw onions at the State Fairgrounds;
b. One is counting the time left at Sing Sing;
c. One is listening to the old sermons of Oral Roberts;
d. One is starving to death;
e. One is hiding in a Maytag Dryer
2. The famous French champagne “Veuve Clicquot” means what?
a. It means you’re gonna wake up with a monster hangover in the morning;
b. It means you’re gonna be $50.00 light after you buy it;
c. It is Portugeuse for “Long live Kumquats!”;
d. It means you have joined the evil nouveau riche class of bloodsucking vampires;
e. It means “Widow Clicquot”.
3. Who provided the visual special effects for the movie “Jason and the Argonauts (1963)”?
a. Jim Beam Kentucky Bourbon;
b. Julius Kessler;
c. Ray Harryhausen;
d. El Presidente Mexican Brandy;
e. Edgar Buchanan Sour mash Hillbilly Swill.
4. The Sea of Okhotsk is famous for what commodity?
a. Borscht. It’s the best in the world;
b. Cod Liver-flavored vodka;
c. Flying oysters;
d. Cheaply made movies;
e. The best Okhotsk!
5. The Arabic-speaking philosopher who came closest to developing an Islamic vision of Plato’s Republic was?
a. Danny Thomas;
b. Michael Ansara;
c. Jamie Farr;
d. Tiny Tim;
6. Edward D. Wood’s “masterpiece” bad movie was?
a. Glen or Glenda;
b. Plan Nine from Outer Space;
c. Bride of the Atom;
d. Tirade of the Tarantulas;
e. Anna Karenina: Stewardess from Vladivostok.
7. Did Thomas Jefferson believe in God?
a. Yes. He was a practicing Shaker;
b. Yes. Kind of. He started to believe on his deathbed;
c. Maybe. He liked to torment Reverend Dimmesdale about the Ontological Proof
d. Not really. Jefferson was a freethinker;
e. Sort of. Perhaps. No, not really. He was a fence-sitter. Nah! Oh, maybe, might be. Kinda.
8. Kobe Beef is a very expensive and sought-after piece of steak. Why is it called “Kobe”?
a. Because Kobe Bryant invented it while visiting his girlfriend on her farm;
b. It’s a short form of “Kool Beef”, get it?
c. It’s a corruption of the Arabic word “Kibbee”. It’s not even a steak;
d. It was supposed to be “Dobie Steak” after the t.v. show, Dobie Gillis. But when the Swanson Company came up with “Maynard G. Krabs” as a shellfish substitute, the Martin Manulis production company moved the “K” to the “D” and it became “Kobie” Steak!
e. It’s named after Kobe, Japan, where the cows are tortured in a stall so that their muscles won’t get strong and remain tender.
9. Which of the following foreign cinematographers has the funniest name?
a. Sven Nyquist;
b. Taj Fujimoto;
c. Miroslav Ondricek;
d. Russell Metty;
e. Gizobaard Aldruscabyte.
10. Who owns Easter Island in the Pacific?
a. The Easter Bunny of course;
b. Chili’s Restaurant and Bar;
c. The Vatican;
The winner will receive a complimentary $10.00 chit for an elegant dinner at Torvald’s Borgaschmord and Tepanaki Grill in Flint, Michigan.