It was a dramatic Tuesday in Istanbul when 48 members out of 63 attended a meeting to elect a Prime Minister for Syria. The Syrian coalition in exile, NACOSROF, had tried before to establish a government-in-exile but failed because of internecine conflict and the absence of the right, charismatic personality. When the votes were counted, Ghassan Hitto, a complete unknown to everyone but his wife and daughters, was elected to head the office of Prime Minister somewhere in the world except Syria.
Mr. Hitto, seen in this photo, with NACOSROF chief, Ahmad Mu’adh Al-Khatib (to his left), suffers from a congenital disorder which causes violent spasms that turn him away from the persons to whom he is speaking while spitting into the face of anyone on the other side.
Of the 63 active members of the Syrian opposition coalition, only 48 voted (with 15 not even attending) and another 4 casting blank ballots. But he won with 35 votes anyway and stole the grand prize – Prime Minister of Zilch! All this and he is not even a member of NACOSROF!!!
Mr. Hitto has lived in the State of Texas for over 2 decades working as an Information Technology Manager for a small Islamic-oriented company. He was born in Damascus, Syria, to a Kurdish family in 1963 but moved to the United States where he attended Purdue University and Indiana Wesleyan. He also managed a Muslim private schol called Bright Horizons Academy. He also co-founded the Muslim Legal Fund after the 9/11 disaster and has participated in numerous organizations inspired by the Muslim Brotherhood. He is married and has 4 children. He now resides in Istanbul where he intends to learn Turkish and spend his time being towel-whipped in the local public baths.
Mr. Hitto, whose real name is Ghassan S. Hitto, is known affectionately as Mr. Ghassan S.Hitto or “Mr. Shitto” to his friends.
Mr. Hitto is a proud card-carrying member of the Muslim Brotherhood heresy. It is his intention to reveal his plans soon in a speech. He will outline how he will “govern” so-called “opposition held territories” even though they have no population, totally hostile populations and are tending to get smaller as the days wear on. He has no plans to go to Syria in the near future for reasons, which he says, have to do with his “personal health and longevity”.
Mr. Hitto shares with other “luminaries” of the Syrian exile community the same anonymity and Islamist zeal which have made them all attractive partners for Robert Ford, America’s can’t-do, bumbling oaf of a spook- war criminal. We quote herein-below excerpts from a Mercury News Service interview with Mr. Hitto in Istanbul after his election. It is conducted by Wurlitzer Prize-winning investigative journalist Brunhilde Liebesbombe:
“MNS: How do you feel about being the prime minister when there are no other ministers?
HITTO: Well, I’m still prime. That’s gotta count for somethin’.
MNS: Do you think you can rule Syria from Istanbul?
HITTO: I don’t know. We are negotiating with the Turks for an apartment with a telephone.
MNS: Where are you staying now?
HITTO: Oh, at the new Government Ministry Building.
MNS has learned that Mr. Hitto’s new offices and residence are in this house now filled with squatters in Istanbul.
MNS: Who will you meet first from among the leaders of the world?
HITTO: Someone mentioned King Juan Carlos of Spain, Ted Turner, Rowan Atkinson.
MNS: Will you make an appearance on Syrian soil?
HITTO: I’ve been promised an appearance in a tunnel on the Turkish border near Idlib. You have to start somewhere. For only 2 minutes.
MNS: Who is paying your salary?
HITTO: Why, it’s Prince Fatso of Qatar and the lovely Madame Banana.
MNS: How are you getting along with your allies in the coalition?
HITTO: My favorite is Captain Kangaroo. But, you know, he’s an infidel Christian. A dhimmi.
George Sabra, seen here, is Mr. Hitto’s favorite character in the Syrian exile coalition.
SyrPer has learned that Mr. Hitto plans to make his home permanently in Istanbul and visit Imrali Island for holiday.