Al-Hujjayra: On Faayez Mansoor St., both Monzer and SANA report that an entire unit of rodents belonging to the “Monotheism Brigades” (Liwaa’ Al-Tawheed) was exterminated to a rat. Here are the names:
Naayef Al-Ghadhbaan. JORDANIAN RAT EXCREMENT AND SON OF PESTILENCE
Ma’moon Karbooj (Yeah! Real cute.)
Abu Bakr Kahramaani (AFGHAN GRUB)
Another 7 had no papers. The Afghan was identified by 2 rat prisoners. The Jordanian was already known to the MI people.
Also at Al-Hujjayra, at Al-Zayzafoon Cafe, these remnant bugs were given the Raid treatment and went straight to the Lord of the Flies:
Haleem ‘Ali Hawraani
Another 5 could not be identified and are presumed foreign.
Al-Dhiyaabiyya: Strange how all the Jabhat Al-Nusra buzzards are trying to fly south to Jordan instead of taking it on the chin the way good Jihadists should. Well, these fleeing scavengers were shot down south of Damascus. Here are the ones with papers:
‘Ali Farhoon (?)
Another 8 could not be identified and presumed foreign.
Al-Husayniyya: A firefight bolstered by competent militia took down these rats:
Another 4 could not be identified and appeared foreign. Monzer says MI believes they were from Saudi Arabia or the Emirates.
Babeela: A clever ambush netted these lizards:
Majdi Raagheb Qawjaa
Daarayyaa: Another huge weapons cache found in the small fruit cellar of a residence. These included very advanced telecommunications equipment which, by all reports, appeared to be unused and perfectly suited for our militia. Thank you, President Obama and Prince Porky of Qatar. What would we do without you?
HOMS: ARMY IS READYING FOR THE FINAL BLAST INTO AL-QUSAYR TO REMOVE TWO REMNANT TERRORISTS RAT UNITS AND SEND THEM STRAIGHT TO THE OUT HOUSE IN HELL:
You all know now that the border with Lebanon on both the Tal-Kalakh and the Al-Qusayr fronts are closed and professionally monitored. But now, the Syrian 6th Mechanized Armored Division supported by a Special Forces paratroop regiment specializing in anti-insurgency warfare and 3 units of militia are preparing to invade and snuff out each and every rodent slithering around the town. Lebanese politicians from the Hermel area are trying to negotiate an “honorable” way out for the rodents but the Syrian army command is saying “nuts” to all that. They either surrender and face justice or prepare for the expedited flush down the bidet to Satan’s Sewer. As I write, the Syrian Army has disseminated pamphlets urging townspeople to evacuate as soon as possible. I believe the terrorists will be surrendering soon. About 40 of them are army deserters who must be EXECUTED!!
To give unsolicited support to what I wrote, be advised that a cabal of rodents tried to escape from Al-Qusayr this morning to regroup in Al-Husayniyya. Not that that would have made any difference because the latter town is flooded with militia, security and police. In any case, Wael received the names of 13 scavenging rats shot as they were scurrying about for their miserable lives:
Mahmoud Ghuraab (The black bird is a sign of bad luck and death)
Baab Hood: In the Old City. Militia struck down 4 moving slime. No details available.
Al-Shawmariyya: More tunnels with vast stores of weapons as this town is being cleaned.
HAMA: The FSA has defaulted now in Hama. Intercepted communications between rats demonstrates that the FSA now knows they are not wanted and that they cannot build a base in a town everyone thought would be at the forefront of the treason. To the contrary.
At Qasr Abu-Samra, SAA and security forces uncovered another of Prince Porky’s treasure chests of weapons. 4 Doschka machine gun cannons, 8 boxes of grenades, 2 crates of AK47 assault rifles, smoke grenades, phosphorous grenades and drugs. This cache was abandoned.
IDLIB: The SAA is rolling over the rats in this governorate. The Rat-Stats are few though because of the fluidity of the situation. With momentum clearly on the side of the government, security forces don’t have the time to worry about data or condolence letters.
Al-Tur’ah in rural Idlib the SAA killed 4 rodents. All these rats were foreigners as evidenced by their physical appearance, lack of documentation and literature in their pockets.
Qatroon: We can confirm the following rat deaths:
Another 3 could not be identified.
Umm Hareen: 2 confirmed rat deaths. No details.
Talab: No details after a firefight.
Al-Ruwaidha: 8 rodents killed. 3 taken prisoner. There were 2 deserters among the dead. May they burn in Hell:
“Abu-Ghaazi” (id pending)
The others carried no papers and could not be identified by the captured rodents.
Al-Hameediyya: No details. 12 confirmed rats killed. No prisoners.
Qarn Al-Ghazaal: 2 dead rats. No details.
Al-Jaanoodiyya: A continuing firefight brought down 2 rats today. More tomorrow.
Tal Dahab: Confirmed 6 dead and 2 wounded prisoners. No details.
Tayyibaat: An ambush scored 3 rodents with the others slinking back into the countryside.
Jabal Al-Arba’een: 9 confirmed rat deaths. All Jabhat Al-Nusra trying to crawl from certain death. But it was certain. So there you have it. No details.
Ma’arrat Al-Nu’maan: Why the FSA and Jabhat Al-Nusra continue to try to hold on to parts of this abandoned town is anybody’s guess. It must be for morale because it no longer has any military value seeing the SAA has emptied the highway and cleared it for reinforcements. Wael described SAA snipers shooting at will at anything that moves.
Majdalyaa: 2 rodents shot. Wael says that MI reports that they were Tunisians. No details.
Binnish: SAA tanks struck a nest of hyenas directly and killed 4. No details.
Ma’arratmassreen: 2 killed. Another 7 or more escaped toward the Turkish border.
Nahliyyaa: This hub of honey production produced something better yesterday: 6 dead rats. No details.
On the road between Al-Mastouma and Al-Jabal Al-Wustaani, Jabhat Al-Nusra’s infamously incompetent band of scavengers belonging to the “Monotheism Brigades” (Yawn) took it hard:
Marwaan Hussayn Al-Yaaseen
Yaasser ‘Abdulllah Al-Hameed
Muhammad ‘Umar Al-Salloom (SANA)
Too many battles and too few details. Big time slaughter of rodents populations in Hanaano reported. Wael promises more tomorrow morning. Let’s wait and hope for a productive night.
SOME NEWS BUT MOSTLY HOT AIR FROM WESTERN MEDIA
We awarded Gerhard Schindler the “SyrPer Egon Krenz Award for Service to the Syrian Security Services” and now you will really know why. Great article and expose about German clumsiness:
Long live the non-existent Lebanese Army. Gosh! I wish I could praise it the way I praise the SAA:
I hope all of you now know that Erdoghan smokes hashish. Note how this article completely avoids mentioning the Russian Fleet and Iran’s Mutual Defense Pact with Syria. What nonsense:
Guess where the new S-300s are going. Yes. That’s right. And it is a game-changer. Thanks, Pres. Putin:
Ah, the voices of reason. This one from John Esquire:
WILE E. COYOTE MOMENT: