ALEPPO: As you must have heard, Syrian government forces annihilated the terrorist rats who were personally commanded by soon-to-be-dead former colonel, ‘Abdul-Jabbar Al-Ukaydi. What a disaster! They tried to shock our shockproof forces with 2 bomb-laden cars which were woefully inadequate for the task. Instead, what they wound up doing was attracting hundreds of security personnel who quickly put the kibosh on their miserable plans. With militia and SAA in place, it was a matter of 3 hours before the entire terrorist operation went into disaster mode.
Our source in Aleppo, Barakaat, finally communicated with us from his home in Al-‘Azeeziyya, and told us by telephone that his brother, who works at the prison as a cook, could hear prisoners demanding to fight the terrorists who had attacked the prison from 3 sides. (See above). The attack started at 5:20 a.m. on Wednesday ,Aleppo time, or 12:20 a.m. NYT, commenced with the explosion of 2 vans, painted up to look like ordinary supply delivery vehicles, loaded with C-4 at the Main Gate. The drivers of the cars were suicide bombers who were killed instantly as the cars exploded. Wael says that Barakaat is wrong because both vans were actually ambulances.
SyrPer Exclusive: We now know that the FSA had insiders within the ranks of the guards at the Central Prison. What the FSA did not know was that the insiders worked for General Security. This is why the plan went awry. The SAA and security knew ahead of time about the attack. What was not known was the exact timing. Also of interest to our readers: The approximately 230 prisoners who were doing time for participating in terrorism were placed (for their own protection) in the “South Wing” which would have made it impossible for the rats to reach them without sustaining massive losses.
Here are some of the names of dead rats collected so far from the carcasses strewn about the area:
Jameel Abu-Sanaasel (?)
We have 3 confirmed Turks in the group whose identities have not been ascertained. There are 38 carcasses so far.
Hanaano Residencies: A team of SF from the SAA attacked a den of cockroaches and killed all 7 in a morning raid. Thanks to Prince Fatso of Qatar, our militias have a brand new 23mm AA gun and 14 new AK47 rifles. Thanks so much to the Husband of Madame Banana. The 7 killed are:
“Abu-Al-Naqma” (The Vengeful One; yawn. Id pending. Known from intercepted communications.)
CONFIRMED LIBYAN RAT TERRORIST (“Al-Mujaahed Al-Leebi”)
Ah, the beautiful fields of the Hawraan. Once the bread basket of Rome and home of Philip the Arab, Emperor of Rome. Our soldiers are seen here reasserting the Syrian character of this area.
Al-Husayniyya: In a firefight with remnant buzzards from the Jabhat Al-Nusra, SAA and militia killed these scavengers:
‘Abdullah Daheen (Var. Duhayn)
Al-Buwaydha: (Not to be confused with the same town in Homs). An ambush netted 4 remnant rats from the J.N. No identification available. This unit was entirely foreign.
‘Adra: Huge loss again for the J.N. whose numbers have been dwindling considerably. They attacked a checkpoint manned by SAA with militia back-up. No good. 11 killed, 7 wounded and warbling:
The other 8 could not be identified readily.
Rankoos: Big numbers again. Bad day for J.N. horror-show addicts. 9 killed. No details.
NOW CONFIRMED: SAA SECURES THE TOWNS OF AL-JARBAA AND AL-BUHAARIYYA IN THE EAST GHOUTA. THERE CAN BE NO RECOVERY AND NO SO-CALLED “OPERATIONS” TO GET BACK AL-‘UTAYBA.
Al-Shabraq: What a disaster for the dung beetles of “OPERATION HAWRAAN VOLCANO”:
Khaldoon Al-Bataayina (JORDANIAN INSECT)
Mahmoud Al-Taweel (He ain’t tall no more. I understand he was blown in twain)
MUT’IB AL-NU’AYMI (QATARI SPAWN OF INCESTUOUS APES)
Al-Naassiriyya: 2 confirmed dead rodents. 4 taken prisoner. No details.
East Al-Karak: (Don’t confuse this with the Jordanian town. It’s an Arabized word from “Krak”.) An attack on a SAA checkpoint resulted in 3 deaths among the rodents. The other 5 disappeared into the mist. No details.
Tafass: 8 counted carcasses: 5 known foreigners. Here are the only Syrian rodents:
Haaroon Al-Qattaan (He won’t be pickin’ cotton any more though. He’ll be pickin’ his nose in Hell)
Al-Lijaat: 12 rats take the ferry to Old Scratch’s Motel in you know what. No details.
West Al-Maleeha: 2 known rodents down. No other details as operation continues.
DAYR EL-ZOR: What a pretty town. But in a town named for not being so pretty, at the First Girl’s School, 4 rodents opted for the escalator ride to Belial’s gripe:
Yamaan Akram Hiddaawi
Kaadhem Al-Busaalem (IRAQI TRASH-EATER)
Al-Muree’iyya: Attempt to take over a checkpoint met with disaster:
MUHAMMAD AL-WARFALI (LIBYAN APE EXCREMENT)
Haashem Hassoon (Of the Liwaa’ Al-Athar Battalions, yawn)
Muhamamd Ameen ‘Ajaaj (Of the Ahraar Al-Bu-‘Umar Battalions. Yawn)
Dayr El-Zor City: At the Industrial Zone, 6 rats shimmied down to the Hot Gates. No details.
Nazlat Al-Rudaysaat: Oh, our army just showed no mercy for these J.N. drug addicts:
Muhammad Mustafa Muhyi-Aldeen
Muhammad Jaaber Al-Ta’is
East Al-Huwayqa Quarter: 7 killed. No details. More gifts from Prince Fatso including a lovely mortar.
Not much to report about a province that’s being effectively cleaned up by Mr. Clean himself.
Manaateq ‘Ali: 3 killed in a firefight with infantry. No details.
Haaj Hammood Farms: 7 confirmed dead rats. No survivors. No details.
Taftanaaz: 7 confirmed dead rats. Only 1 identified:
Ma’rratmassreen: A big battle with no details. Not until tomorrow.
Kafr Roomaa: 5 dead rats. No names.
HOMS: NOTHING TO REPORT. THE FSA AND J.N. ARE IN A FUGUE STATE. CANNOT HANDLE THE BAD STATS.
NOT TRUE. I JUST GOT WAEL’S LATEST REPORT. AW MAN! I NEED A REST.
Talbeesa: 4 FSA remnant rodents killed trying to sneak back to Lebanon. No names. I lied. I have the names but I’m tired of rendering them orthographically. Oh, all right!
Baab Hood: at the Mas’oodiyya School, SAA killed 17 rodents. No details on this one because it’s AFI.
Al-Khaalidiyya Town: Another 3 rats confirmed dead . 1 was a deserter. For that reason, Wael has no details.
Daar Al-Kabeera: 4 dead rats at a nest which produced enough morphine to put NYC to sleep. No details.
Al-Ghanto: A nest of rodents trying to blend in in order to avoid arrest was handed a special ticket to ride:
2 others had no papers.
East Al-Buwaydha: 2 killed. No prisoners.
Al-Rastan: A nice fat IED factory was closed down with 2 crates of grenades seized. Thank you, Prince Fatso.
Keeseen: 1 confirmed dead hyena. No details.
Waadi Al-Saayeh: An attempt to infiltrate into the Al-Amal Hospital to steal drugs failed miserably when citizens called the MoI and a whole regiment of SAA appeared. All 13 rodents were eventually killed. 7 were taken prisoner. No details.
Baab Hood: 2 killed.
Jawrzat Al-Shiyyaah: 4 killed and 5 wounded.
Al-Qaraabees: 1 confirmed dead rat trying to join up with others. No details.
Sinaysel and Qazhal in the Al-Hoola: “Abu Wadhha” was taken down with 6 others. No details.
HAMA: OVER 45 RATS KILLED SO FAR AT HALFAAYAA IN MAJOR BATTLE TO CLEAN UP THE AREA. MILITIA ACQUITTING THEMSELVES SUPERBLY IN SUPPORT OF SAA COMMANDOES. MORE DETAILS TOMORROW AFTER THE RAT-COUNT.
SOME GOOD REPORTAGE AND SOME OUTRIGHT LYING:
Here’s the scoop from Chris Lehmann on the cannibalism of NATO’s heroes:
Listen to how the sleazy Polish Zionists try to explain away the massacre of innocent Syrians in Dayr El-Zor:
The Russians are Coming! The Russians are Coming! Hooray!
Look at how the WP tries to put its best face on a U.N. disaster with much more than half of the world not willing to vote against Syria. This is polished hypocrisy:
Some more about those executions by fake Muslims in the East of the country:
John Esq. sends this one about Turkish citizens’ rage over Erdoghan’s support of terrorists:
Bjorn sends this video of our supporters kicking down some FSA stand in Antioch:
WILE E. COYOTE MOMENT. ALLAHU AKBAR!!! (Thanks to John, Esq.)
This video takes place in Idlib at the Abu-Dhayf Airbase. Watch carefully how our snipers give the best haircuts: