SyrPer can report with confidence that MI has intercepted dialogue between Saleem Idrees, the comical General Cuckoo of the Fake Syrian Army, and a British-accented officer apparently based in Incirlik. According to Monzer, the conversation concerned Idrees’ rage over English Parliamentary rules which allow M.P.s to block deliveries of weapons on the grounds that the FSA and its decapitating allies in Al-Qaeda are terrorists. Monzer would love to send me the tape but for Syrian security regulations. Monzer says that Idrees closed the conversation in English with an Arabic expression directed at the Brit to the effect that “…If you are desperate to get something from a dog, call him sir.” إن كان لك عند الكلب حاجة قل له يا سيدي Indeed.
Ma’arrat Al-Nu’maan: At the Al-Talla Roundabout, Jabhat Al-Nusra was eradicated by NDF and SAA forces:
Rasool Qiwaazi (?) (Pakistani roach dropping)
Another 10 were clearly not Syrian. Wael reports confirmed Chechens and Arabians by the local population.
LE FIGARO ANNOUNCES DEATH OF FRENCH CITIZEN IN SYRIA ON JUNE 19, 2013. Another rongeur bites the dust, this time in Sinjaar in Idlib Governorate. Georges Malbruneau, French “specialist” in Near Eastern Affairs, declared the death of ‘Abdul-Rahmaan ‘Ayyaash (a/k/a “Abu Hujr”) to the press in Paris yesterday. Evidently, ‘Ayyaash was a student of information sciences and was tasked with following the work of “Suqoor Dimashq” (yawn) or “Falcons of Damascus”. He eventually got so aroused by his porno-violence that he joined up with a Salafist organization which introduced him to traumatic death at the hands of our army. Good riddance to bad rubbish, we always. Our condolences to his rat family.
They’re probably all dead. These mean looking hombres have an IQ of about 61 between all of them. They belong to the “Rodents of Shaytaan Battalions”. (Yawn)
Al-Mastooma: At the Al-Qarmeed Factory, SAA engineers dismantle 6 IEDs (100-150kgs C-4 with remote triggers) after infantry kiboshes 11 muskrats crawling about in the sewers:
The rest could not be identified.
Mu’tarem: Still clean and purified of rats.
Kafr Shalaayaa: To the south of Idlib. 2 rats killed. No details.
Majdalyaa: Confirmed 1 rodent snuffed out and 3 taken prisoner.
Abu-Dhuhoor – The airbase is still ours but a few rats tried to crawl on to the north fence and were killed. Wael reports 3 dead and rotting outside the base. No details.
Mar’uyyaan: No details about fighting there.
Ableen: That’s not Abilene, fellas. Fighting with militia and rats. 2 confirmed rodents dispatched. No details.
Ma’ardibsi: These crawling insects were snuffed out by militia:
Kafr Roomaa: Fighting but no details.
Al-Baarra: RPG direct strike on moving van with rats and weapons brings these vermin to the doors of Lucifer’s favorite spa:
‘Abu-Fadhdhool’ (Id pending)
1 was captured and warbling.
Kafr Nibbul: Fighting between militia and rats. No details.
Ma’arrat Al-Nu’maan: What is left of this birthplace of the literary giant, Abu Al-‘Alaa, is anyone’s guess.
Dissaamis: Fighting with SAA expected to kill off last nest of rodents.
LATAKIA-IDLIB HIGHWAY: SAA has broken the back of the rat packs’ efforts to block 2-way traffic with 29 rodents killed in a major confrontation. I will have details tomorrow from Wael. This is a major setback for Idrees and his team of Ebola-carrying monkeys.
Al-Rubay’ah: More carcasses dot the countryside between Syria and Turkish-occupied Hatay. Nobody will go out to check the bodies. More fertilizer.
Saamiyyat Al-Karak: Ambush by SAA leaves these stool specimens on the concrete roadway of this sleepy town:
Fu’aad ‘Abdul-Khaaleq Juhaymaan (SAUDI RAT DROPPING)
Hizaam Al-Jahmi (YEMENI CAT PUS)
Another 4 had no papers and are presumed non-Syrian.
“Abi ‘Abdul-Rahmaan” (LIBYAN BARBARY APE MANURE)
‘Abdullah Al-Sayyed (a/k/a “Abi Rudayna Al-Saraaqibi)
Al-Qasaatel Al-Shamsiyya: SAA killed 4 rodents:
The other 2 could not be identified.
Al-Zawbak: A mortar was destroyed (sadly) and these killed:
Al-‘Abbaasiyya Bakery: A machine gun was confiscated and the following sent to Mephisto’s Concert on the Styx:
Ahmad ‘Abdul-Qaader Turki (SAUDI MONKEY SPUNK)
Jayyaash Muhammad ‘Abdullah (LIBYAN BARBARY APE CHANCRE)
Ahmad Hussayn Qaaboor
Barza: 6 tunnels uncovered with lots of weapons for our militias. 6 rats killed:
Faadi Sillu (Oh! A relative of General Gas himself!)
Doumaa: 10 kilometers northeast of the capital. Firefight with remnant rats:
Khalaf ‘Abdullah Al-Saalem
Yaasser Yaasseen Badraan (SANA)
This town saw a large demonstration yesterday demanding cleansing of the area by the SAA.
Harmala Tunnel: In the area of the Electric Company and Daayaa Corp., SAA and militia killed 16 cockroaches and arrested 3. Only 6 of the dead were identified:
“Abu Zubayda” (id pending)
Dayr Salmaan: An RPG operator was killed by an SAA sniper before he could fire at a tank. His name has not been revealed.
Marj Al-Sultaan: A large weapons cache was found thanks to locals. We must stop here and thank PRINCE FATSO HUSBAND OF MADAME BANANA FOR THIS KIND GIFT TO OUR MILITIAS.
Al-Khaamisiyya Village Farms: A rat leader and pack of rats all killed when surrounded. I have no names at present.
Khaalidiyya: Still fighting to rid this city of every miserable plague-carrying rodent, the SAA put these down yesterday:
Raakaan ‘Abdul-Jaleel Al-Tashsh
Muhammad Fawzi Hoori Al-Baashaa
Muhammad ‘Abdul-Ghani Al-Turkmaani
Kinaan Fayssal Nu’aasi
The illustrious “Al-Qa’Qaa’ Brigades” went up in smoke last night in Tal-Al-Ahmar. According to Wael’s sources, 8 rats were killed and 3 wounded. No names. However, Wael is delighted to tell me that this group was mostly involved in selling weapons to rats. The take was substantial. Good show. And thanks to whomsoever made this gift to the NDF.
Al-Hasaka Dam to the south was the scene of more confiscation of weapons. Zowie!
Old Airport: Police killed this fleeing mouse:
Al-Siyaasiyya Bridge: SAA killed these of the “Al-Khadhraa’ Brigades” (yawn):
Muhammad Fawwaaz Al-Dandal (Now he’s dangling in Hell)
“Abu ‘Unka” (Id pending)
Al-Muree’iyya: Weapons seized. No details.
Al-Bukamaal: A warehouse hid rats and weapons. SAA raided the warehouse last night and killed 10 rodents. Confirmed.
Al-Huwayqa, Al-Sinaa’ah, Al-Jubayla and Nazlat Al-Rudaysaat saw much clean-up. No details.
Al-Hawaash: A known thief, murderer and rapist belonging to the Jabhat Al-Nusra’s laureled “Ahraar Al-Shaam Brigade” finally bought his first class ticket on the Silver Bullet to Beelzebub’s Infernal Bistro:
Muhyi-Al-Deen Shaaker ‘Ayyaan (Wael says he had 29 bullets in his carcass)
Yusuf Ramadhaan Al-Fahl
‘Abdul-Wahhaab Fathi Al-Bakkoor
Muhammad Ahmad Karraada
Another 6 could not be identified and are presumed to be foreign.
Al-Raashideen: On the margins in the 4th District on the west side, SAA successfully destroyed a nest of rodents. Wael has info that 9 were killed and 4 taken prisoner. Not certain, yet.
Al-Ashrafiyya: Fighting. No details.
Al-‘Alqamiyya: A mortar is seized at the gas station used by rats to strike at Mannagh Airbase.
A’zaaz: At Mannagh Road near the gas station, a nest of rats is destroyed.
Al-Naqqaareen: 8 vans stopped and weapons seized on the Old Baab Road in Aleppo. Fabulous collection of ammo and light arms to be used by our militias.
Al-Mansoora to the West in western Aleppo. A heavy machine gun is seized. No details.
Aleppo-Idlib Road: 22 confirmed rat deaths at Zaydaan Gas Station at Khaan Al-‘Asal Farms. Wael says it’s very hard to get stats from this area. Just is.
SECURITY SERVICES REPORT THAT SAA HAS SUCCESSFULLY MIDWIFED A SUPPLY OF 5,000 MEALS FROM THE SYRIAN RED CRESCENT TO INMATES AT THE CENTRAL PRISON.
Al-‘Ays: A team of SF commandos annihilated a convoy of trucks carrying missiles to rodents in Aleppo. All told, 16 trucks and vans were vaporized. Wael says the number dead will exceed 40 and the value of the materiel was in the hundreds of thousands of dollars.
NEWS AND PROPAGANDA:
Nopes sends this NYT article with some good ideas:
More rollicking, laugh-inducing articles from the Western Press:
Wow! The New York Times is getting it right, finally. It took so long. And one of our readers actually questioned SyrPer’s credibilty!
Don’t laugh yourselves silly over this one. I have it on good sources that a SCUD missile is going to descend on them on the Eid Al-Fitr.
Go Kurds! Rah rah, zis boom bah. It is unknown how many rats have been killed at Ra’s Al-‘Ain:
I guess the Zionists want to start another mess in Lebanon and the Lebs are falling for it:
WILE E. COYOTE MOMENT: