FIRST POST – JULY 4 , 2013 – CRUSHING BLOWS BY SAA DRIVE RATS OUT OF DAMASCUS:

DAMASCUS:

Note: I cannot italicize on my laptop.  Bear with me.  ZAF

Ain Turma in the East Ghouta, a pack of rodents engaged in a firefight with roving militia and found themselves at Mephisto’s table:

Muhammad Saalem Al-Khishna

Haafezh Jum’ah Kallaas

Sameeh Jurjuwaati

“Abu Salaama” (id pending)

‘Arbeen: A sniper was surrounded and killed. His Belgian sniper will now be put to use sniping dirty Qatari rats.

Jawbar: Another sniper proves that some jobs are more dangerous than others. An RPG operator is not much better especially when an SAA sniper is targeting him.

Hamza ‘Arabu

Hassan ‘Arabu

‘Abdu Al-‘Ajwaani

Khaaled Harhash

Harastaa: In the Al-Shilla Neighborhood, SAA and militia confiscated an arsenal of weapons for the cause of justice and secularism. THANKS, MADAME BANANA AND KING ZOMBIE OF SCARABIA. We now have more assault rifles, heavy machine guns and ammo.

Doumaa: SAA killed these vermin:

‘Abdul-Qaader ‘Abdul-Rahmaan

Zayd Al-Zanaaneeri

Hamza Al-Rayyis

Bahjaat Al-Raafi’i

Yabrood in the North Damascus countryside (Qalamoon Mountains)

Mahmoud Mer’i

Muhammad Muhyi-Aldeen Khaanaati

Maaher Al-Jallaab

Ahmad Muhammad Madkhana (The chimney he slides down goes straight to the fiery basement in Satan’s Bar and Grill)

Jawbar-Al-Qaaboon-Zamalkaa: WOW! Two big tunnels uncovered. The first was found extending northeast of the L.G. Corporation to the Al-Qaaboon Electrical Station. The second went from the L.G. Corporation to southeast Zamalkaa. SAA sappers found over 50 IEDs and took control of a large amount of C-4 high explosive and military-grade TNT. THANK YOU, PRINCE FATSO JUNIOR AND MAMA BANANA.

SAA NOW HAS ESTABLISHED COMPLETE CONTROL OVER JAWBAR, AL-QAAABOON, PULLMAN BUS STATION, SOAP FACTORY AND KARAASH INDUSTRIES. THIS IS A MAJOR SETBACK FOR THE RATS AND ONE FROM WHICH THEY CANNOT RECOVER.

DAYR EL-ZOR:

HUWAYJAT AL-MUREE’IYYA: A platoon of SAA infantrymen found a nest of rodents and exterminated it. It belonged to the Jabhat Al-Nusra franchise calling itself “The Shaykh Al-Islaam Brigade” (yawn). Monzer in Damascus reports that this group took its orders straight from Turkish military:

Hammood Khudhr Shalaash (a/k/a Abu Baraa’)

“Abu Khattaab” (id pending)

“Abu Hammaam” (id pending)

A 120 mm mortar was (sadly) destroyed.

Al-Huwayja: The illustrious and luckless “Abu Bakr Al-Siddeeq Brigade” (yawn) was devastated last night and given a courtesy pass to Lucifer’s Casino and Hot Springs:

“Al-Mulaazem” (“The Lieutenant”. Id pending. An apparent deserter. Blown apart by a perfectly tossed grenade.)

Rafeeq ‘Abdul-Ghani

Hussayn Mukhaymer ‘Ali

Ma’moon Al-Taawoos (Strutted like a peacock for only a short time on this earth. So pitiful.)

Ja’afar Hammaadiyya

Al-Muree’iyya: The last real base for itinerant rodents, bone-shaking blow to their durability by MiG23s in direct hits. Monzer reports that 17 were counted dead. All were bearded trash from Jabhat Al-Nusra. No names other than these, yet.

Al-Mu-Hassan:

‘Adnaan ‘Allaawi

Saaher Al-Mu’ashsher

Taaher Siraajeddeen

‘Abdul-Mun’em Al-Ru’yaaan

HOMS:

Baab Hood: On the west side of the Abudullah Ibn Mas’ood Mosque, a pack of wolves was decimated by NDF and police. Wael says 4 were killed and 10 surrendered.

Al-Hussn at the Municipal Center in the Tal Kalakh area:

‘Abdul-Baasset Haddaad

Mahmoud ‘Abdu Al-Talli

Tadmur: (Palmyra) An IED string was dismantled. Each had a 15kg payload on road between Didiman and Semiramis Hotels. 0

Palmyra – Dayr El-Zor Highway: Another IED was spotted, dismantled and seized.

LATAKIA:

At Saaqiyat-Al-Kirt and Al-Zuwayk, SAA and militia killed these rats:

Maajed Al-Massri

‘Abdullah Al-Hassan

‘Abdul Ilaah Al-Marqabi

AL-RAQQA: At the Qirmeed Factory, the SAA encountered a rodent infestation and brought in Mr. Orkin. This took place in the area of Al-Manaakheer (The Noses). All 23 rodents were killed. None would surrender. They were apparently commanded by a Turk moron who now lounges in the Old Scratch Pub and Grub. No details today. I am up north. I have no access to my fax machine or other sources. I will tomorrow, though. Just wait.

IDLIB: Fighting is reported in these areas by SANA. I have no reporting from my own sources:

Al-‘Aaliya

Al-Naa’ima

Basanqool

Mu’tarem

Tal Mardeekh

Al-Buwayti

Khaan Al-Subul

Al-Shaykh Daames

Kafr Batteekh (Guess what they’re famous for.)

Kafr ‘Awm in the Areehaa area

Kafr Shalaayaa. A checkpoint was attacked. Repelled.

Baasel Al-Hassan (“Abu Lahab”. He was an arsonist and a pyromaniac)

DER’AH:

The “Abdul-Rahmaan Brigade” took it hard east of Al-Karak:

Hamza Al-Murawwih

Widaad Al-‘Ammaar (female sex jihadist and professional scag)

Al-Muzayreeb: Another old-fashioned battle for spoils between pious Islamist capitalists results in the deaths of 11 rodents. So sad. At the Vegetable Market, these carcasses were found:

“Abu ‘Abdul-Rahmaan” (id pending)

“Abu Khaleel” (id pending)

Muhammad Mahmoud Al-Nabulusi

Yusuf Al-Zu’bi

Mahmoud Abu Nuqta

The rest could not be identified.

Al-Shabraq: Fighting, no details.

Al-Naasiriyya: Ditto.

Al-Nu’ayma: Ditto.

ALEPPO:

At the Central Prison, there was the usual pitiful effort to storm the edifice in which there are no more former rat fighters. Really pathetic. 7 dead rats. No id.

Maqta’ Al-Bakaara, a rat operation to attack the Al-Kindi Hospital was disrupted by a unit of SAA infantrymen. No details.

Central Prison attack from the area of the Plaka Restauran and Al-Sayf Factory was a disaster for the rodents as they were surrounded and blasted by artillery. SANA and Wael report huge losses. Wael wrote yesterday that over 68 carcasses have been found. No id yet.

Aleppo-Idlib Highway: Alert and well-armed militia stopped a convoy of 9 cars all carrying anti-aircraft gun components and ammunition. The drivers surrendered and were identified as contract gun-runners. Each faces a minimum of 15 years in prison under the new laws. But, we must thank PRINCE FATSO JUNIOR OF QATAR AND HIS LOVELY BANANA MAMA FOR THE GIFT.

Hraytaan: Fighting to clear out area before the assault on ‘Anadaan. Hint: MI is picking up indications that rat morale is way down and ammo is short. Be patient.

Maayer: More fighting to clean out rat nests before ‘Anadaan.

Old City at the Grand Omayyad Mosqu in the Al-Khaanaat area, militia dropped a number of rodents. No details

Qaadhi ‘Askar: No details about fighting there.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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