ZAMALKAA: It’s official: A rodent famed for eating the flesh of his victims (he’s a rodent, of course), AS’AD SAWSAQ, (a/k/a “Abu Hanzhala”) took the one-way red-eye flight straight to Hades non-stop and found himself at a banquet table where the entree was his own right buttock! The British call that a “joint”.
Last night, Syrian Army spotters detected a nest of vermin and gave coordinates sufficient to score a direct hit on this rat-leader of the “Liberation of Damascus Brigade” (yawn). He was incinerated immediately along with his pack of slime-dwelling sewer scavengers:
‘Adnaan _____ (Only the first name was salvaged from this rodent’s documents)
Another 7 were so toasted they were blown away with a hair dryer. (Monzer)
JAWBAR: SYRIAN ARMY TURNS TABLE ON RODENTS BY USING THEIR OWN TUNNELS TO SURROUND THEM. TUNNEL-DIGGING CUTS BOTH WAYS AS SYRIAN INFANTRY AND ARMOR TIGHTEN THE GRIP AROUND REMAINING PARASITES:
At the Al-Manaasheer Roundabout, a major operation to delouse the area completely began yesterday before dawn with a tumultuous barrage of artillery that forced the rodent mercenaries into predictable positions to avoid the storm of shrapnel that usually accompanies such firestorms. Once the rats behaved according to instinct, SAA infantry moved in for the kill using many of the tunnels the rats dug themselves. As I write, I can almost hear the sounds of the MoD spokesman announcing the purification of Jawbar. This is a major setback for the Arabian apes and no amount of propaganda about chemical weapons is going to change this result. It’s going to be over very shortly.
Of the 116 carcasses counted so far, these are the names available to Monzer:
Another 26 bodies are believed to be foreign with either no documents or forged papers.
AL-QAABOON: The SAA and militia destroyed 6 nests yesterday as MI intel has proven remarkably correct as to locations of these concentrations of vermin. According to sources I’ve read in Arabic, the sense is that since the fall of Al-‘Utayba, rat reinforcements are hard to smuggle into the area. Besides having excellent access to drone surveillance provided by Iran’s American-reverse-engineered drones, China is apparently providing satellite intel along with Russia. We predict the fall of Al-Qaaboon shortly, i.e. withing the next 4 days. I have no stats for this area today.
MERCURY NEWS SERVICE EXCLUSIVE REPORT! SAUDI ARABIAN VIRUS LINKED TO LOCAL HABIT OF EATING BAT FECES! SAUDI CUISINE UNDER INVESTIGATION!
(August 22, 2013, Brunhilde Liebesbombe reporting from Khartoum. Exclusive to MNS) The United Nations Center for Immunology and Plague has certified Saudi Arabia as the world’s largest ingester of bat feces in the world. This is confirmed by Herr Doktor Vitus “The Virus” Hundsteiger, the director of the agency. “It is now understood why the average Arabian is constantly subject to these kinds of illnesses. It’s unnatural to eat bat droppings, even as a flavor enhancer.”
The origins of the virus were first exposed by an American television crew filming a special for the Food Channel on the “Wonders of Saudi Arabia”. The crew was shocked to learn that their food would be spiced up with bat feces when the head chef at their restaurant personally brought out a screaming Taphozus Perforatus Arabicus bat and, with a self-congratulatory smile on his bearded face, squeezed it to force its excrement out on to the stew offered to them.
“We were absolutely disgusted to watch that poor animal being pumped like the udder of a cow,” complained Merton Snarlbroth, a cameraman with the Food Channel. “I contacted PETA that night in London and they promised to investigate. They told me the Saudi Arabian bat was on their endangered species list due to barbaric pre-Raphaelite Arabian practices.”
Doctor Hundsteiger, seen here, testing brainwave function after ingesting Saudi Arabian bat droppings with his beef Rouladen.
The virus is a simiano-coronavirus which causes what is called today Middle East Respiratory Syndrome or MERS. But before the name was changed, it was referred to as Wahhabist Saudi Monkey-Bat Sydrome or WSMBS, then, affectionately, Wussemboosse. Persons infected with the virus begin to immediately display features of apes with bat-wings causing some anthropoligists to speculate that the gargoyle may have been based on Saudi Arabians seen during European expeditions into the desert. The statue seen below of the founding father of Saudi Arabia, Saud Bin Abdul-‘Azeez Khaffaash Al-Qird-Watwaat, hints strongly at the plausibility of the new theory.
Besides causing breathing problems in infected individuals, some reports indicate one other sign might be precocious dementia or “Bats in the Belfry Syndrome” often seen in the green monkey of Africa, the same ape blamed for the AIDS epidemic. Dr. Hundsteiger thinks the ties are stronger than mere coincidence. He says: “It is obvious from studies performed by Dr. Baldur Hasenpfeffer in Qatar that the monkey DNA plays a much bigger role than first believed in the evolution of the banana-eating race of morons in the Gulf! The fact that the former prince’s wife is named Madame Banana is proof positive of that. The proof is in the Prufung!,” he concluded tartly.
We shall continue our coverage of this Arabian plague as developments occur.
NEWS AND PROPAGANDA:
Here is a site that gets it almost correctly. The MoD is going to issue a clarification soon regarding the FSA’s use of WMDs. Obama is getting closer to the noose at Nuremberg:
And now this about terrorist culpability:
Global Research gets the motive right.
DEAR READERS, I AM OFF TO NEW YORK UNTIL SATURDAY. I WILL BE BACK TO BLOG ON THAT DAY. SEE YOU THEN, ZIAD