OBAMA JIHADIST TERRORISTS OPENED MORTAR FIRE ON THE LAURELED QUARTER OF BAAB TOOMAA IN DAMASCUS WHERE THOUSANDS OF CHRISTIANS LIVE AND WORK. THEY ALSO OPENED FIRE ON JARAMAANA, A MIXED CHRISTIAN AND MUWAHHID (DRUZE) QUARTER WELL KNOWN FOR ITS SPIRIT OF TOLERANCE AND PLURALISM. The sources of fire were extinguished after NDF and SAAF opened counter-fire on areas whose coordinates were provided by expert SAA spotters.
COMIC RELIEF: FAKE SYRIAN ARMY DECLARES WAR ON ALL FOREIGN RODENTS IN SYRIA. FOREIGN RODENTS BEHEAD 40 FAKE SYRIAN ARMY PRISONERS. FAKE SYRIAN ARMY EXECUTES 8 JABHAT AL-NUSRA RAT PRISONERS. A LAUGH-A-MINUTE INTERMEZZO IN THE FOREIGN-BACKED WAR AGAINST THE SYRIAN ARAB REPUBLIC.
Syrian Perspective is delighted to report that FSA spokesrat, Fahd Al-Massri, expectorated a threat against all “foreign rats, be they extremist or otherwise” and warned them to “leave Syria at once or risk annihilation”. Al-Massri declared all such foreigners “enemies”. (Yawn) In an interview with Sky News reportedly to be broadcast on Monty Python as part of a skit, the ISIS and all foreigners are being evicted because of their “bad behavior”. (Oh, please! Will the saints spare us!)
This all comes after the wonderful news that the Islamic State of Iraq and Syria (ISIS) publicly decapitated 40 former allied rats belonging to the FSA. This occurred after the ISIS attacked the area of Al-Baab east of Aleppo and close to the Turk border. They were killed with knives both sharp, and not so sharp, according to eyewitnesses who had the pleasure of watching vermin slaughter vermin. The remaining rodents of the FSA, all “deserters”, escaped to Turkey rendering the entire group called “Battalions of the Northern Storm” a complete disastrous nullity. (Nyuk. Nyuk). Reports coming in to our sources indicate a rebellion in the making as “General” Mustafa Al-Shaykh and “Colonel” Riyaadh “Peg-Leg” Al-As’ad begin to plot the demise of “Gen” Saleem Idrees.
General Idrees, in the foreground, can be seen commanding FSA rat-infantry as they descend on fellow litter-mates in the ISIS. (photo courtesy of SOHR)
Idrees, not to be outdone by Takreeri fanatics in the area of “jungle justice”, ordered the execution by firing squad of 8 Jabhat Al-Nusra prisoners. According to Wael who received some reports about this, the Jabhat Al-Nusra rodents declared their allegiance to the FSA in exchange for their lives, apparently preferring the certitude of temporal existence to that of some “promised” paradise in oblivion. Idrees rejected their offer citing some made-up line of Sacred Hadeeth justifying their execution.
According to our source, Aslan, who has not been as alert as usual, the Turkish government, embarrassed by the internecine slaughter between FSA and ISIS, showed its resilience by closing the border at the A’zaaz Crossing at the Salaama Gate because of the fighting.
BUT ALSO: Just when you thought the fun was over, fighting erupted between rats also in rural Idlib near Saraaqeb where the SAA is now delousing the area. Reports suggest over 100 dead rats from both the FSA and ISIS have now jointly entered Mephisto’s Barbecue and Smoker Oven.
Al-Hasaka also has its share of rats feeding upon other rats in the Al-Shidaada area northeast of the city. Evidently, the FSA attacked a J.N. HQ and C&C center, killing everybody inside. My. My. What a scandal!
CHRISTIAN DESERTER TO BE BEHEADED BY JABHAT AL-NUSRA IN AL-RAQQA. JIHADISTS CITE HIS “INFIDEL” STATUS AS THE REASON.
Syrian Perspective is delighted again to report that the Jabhat Al-Nusra, in its capacity as an ally of the Syrian Arab Army, is doing a great job of culling the population of plague-carrying rodents. If we are lucky, by tonight the traitor, deserter and apostate, “Lt.” Antoon Maloohi, a former member of the Fake Syrian Army, will be beheaded by the terrorist rats of the J.N. Mr. Maloohi, filthy coward and turn-coat, surrendered the town of Al-Mansoora to the FSA about 3 months ago. For reasons which are murky, he was arrested by the FSA and put in some jail in Al-Raqqa. When the ISIS attacked Al-Raqqa, they found this fake-Christian sludge and tried him for “apostasy”, “sacrilege” and “halitosis”. He is expected to lose his head tonight. Burn in Hell!
It is most likely that the simian Saudi “intelligence” supremo, Bandar Bin Sultaan, will provide the Kingdom’s most expert beheader to assist in separating Antoon Maloohi’s head from the rest of his body. You just can’t win no matter who you choose. Right, Antoon?
The Syrian Army laid waste to every little scheme to enter this largely peaceful province. The rats cannot get too far into Latakia without meeting the SAA, NDF, militia, police, security or the inhabitants. Just, too hard.
Bayt Ibliq: Near the Turk border, 2 Mitsubishi vans with Turkish license plates were intercepted and destroyed. Inside the vans were Grad launchers and rockets including CAPTAGON in the glove compartment of one and the following 12 jackals:
Muhammad (Prob. Mahomet) Orkali (TURKISH SNAIL SLIME DROPLET)
Another 4 could not be identified and are presumed to be Chechen only because of patters established by this particular group. They tend to fight together because of language. They also are the most likely to be killed for the reason that they fight stupidly. Another 11 were taken wounded. All carrying Syrian papers.
Drooshaan: Near the Turk border. 3 flatbeds with heavy aa machine guns and dismantled launchers were seized and these hyenas killed:
‘Umar Al-Sayyid (EGYPTIAN ASP VOMIT)
Muhammad Abu-‘Aynayn (EGYPTIAN ASP SPUTUM)
Saaleh Al-Massri (EGYPTIAN APE TOENAIL. Id pending)
‘Ahmad Al-Sa’oodi” (SAUDI CAMEL STOOL SAMPLE. Id pending)
Another 2 could not be identified. Wael is certain they are Saudi.
Al-Kabeer: Near the Turk border, 11 rodents dispatched and 5 wounded warblers. A flatbed with a Doschka was destroyed with these carcasses being identified:
‘Abu Al-Khattaab Al-Sheeshaani” (CHECHEN HOUND CHANCRE. Id pending)
The rest could not be identified.
Al-Kawm: (The Pile)
‘Abu Al-‘Uthmaan Al-Safadi”, (a leader in the ISIS and a PALESTEEZIAN PIECE OF RAT HAIR)
‘Abdul-Salaam Al-Kawthari (SAUDI ARABIAN STOOL SAMPLE)
GERMANY: SOME WRITER NAMED SA’EED DUDEEN claims there are 200,000 foreign terrorists in Turkey under Mossad control. Put that in your pipe and smoke it.
HOMS: Real bad day for FSA and J.N.:
Political Security agents at the northern entryway into the city came across a veritable treasure trove of CAPTAGON, C-4 originating in Saudi Arabia but with a British chemical marker in a Suzuki car. Also, inside were 2 night-vision goggles, (very useful), hand grenades and various ammo. The driver of the car was arrested and is now claiming he had no idea what he was carrying. Guilty. WE WANT TO THANK PRINCE BANDAR FOR THE LOVELY GIFTS TO THE SAA AND MILITIA. KEEP THEM COMING.
SAA COMPLETELY CLEARS OUT THE FOLLOWING TOWNS AND BRINGS SECURITY BACK TO THE PEOPLE:
Kafr-Naan: A C&C center destroyed.
Keeseen: A C&C center destroyed.
Al-Ghajar and Kafr Laahaa, both in the Al-Hoolaa area, are liberated and all rats killed:
Moussaa Mufleh (LEBANTEEZIAN WORM SALIVA)
Muhammad Saalem Al-Qaadhi
Al-Hissin: The rodents here are finding the atmosphere quite depressing as citizens inside the town continue to cooperate with the SAA. Yesterday, outside Al-Hissin, the SAA killed these:
Ahmad Al-‘Aassem (LEBANTEEZIAN APE FOLLICLE)
“Abu-Qataada” (LEBANTEEZIAN PALESTEEZIAN SNAIL BRAIN. Id pending)
Another 3 were taken prisoner.
SAA announces total security established in these towns:
Al-Shaykh Hadeed. A total of 38 snakes were killed in order to clean these towns out. In the process, the SAA and militia seized mortars, launchers, ammunition, CAPTAGON!, 14.50mm machine gun and over 40 IEDs readied for detonation. No details.
Sqaylbiyya and Muharda road completely cleared and safe for use by public. Very important development as the SAA begings preparation for the envelopment of Aleppo.
‘Itmaan near the Jordanian border: It may take days to find all the carcasses belonging to the “Battalions of Hudhayfa” of the “Brigades of Al-Mu’tazz Bi-llaah” (yawn squared) but here are some:
Khaleel Ahmad Al-Zu’bi
‘Imaad Khaaled Al-Shu’aabeen
Jihaad ‘Izzaat ‘Abdul-‘Azheem Al-Hareeri
‘Abdul-Salaam Naasser Al-Shar’
Muhammad Al-Sayyid Al-Rifaa’iy
Dear readers, I have to sit for an interview now and will finish all rat-stats tomorrow. Time is so very precious.
NEWS, COMMENTARY AND PURE NONSENSE:
Jeanne Shaheen? Wow. And 3 other traitors to this country are now digging Obama’s grave even deeper:
Finally, Gen. Al-Sisi orders the arrest of Al-Qardhaawi. I would love to be there for his hanging.
Here is Allah as porn impressario: