“Abu Anas” (Id pending for this bearded carrion eater)
Sufyaan Muhammad Al-Sabaahi
Another 4 could not be identified.
Jawbar: At the athletic arena, a car with weapons in its trunk south of the Electric Company was spotted by adroit NDF militiamen and fired upon after the commander noticed its suspension system was depressed unusually low. 3 rats were killed:
The other 3 were not identified.
Doumaa: At the Al-‘Ibb Farms, the J.N. took it again:
Bayt Sawaa: An entire nest of rodents and its weapons were eliminated and seized respectively:
Al-Bihaariyya: 2 pick-up trucks loaded with weapons and carrying J.N. rats were stopped cold. Inside the second truck was a dismantled 23mm machine gun on its way to Al-Qaaboon. This all took place near the Al-Nishaabiyya Hospital. All told, communications equipment, grenades and 13 AK47s were seized also along with four boxes of CAPTAGON! THANK YOU, PRINCE BABOON OF ARABIA, FOR THE NICE GIFT. OUR NDF AND HOSPITALS WILL USE THESE ITEMS FOR THE BENEFIT OF OUR ARMED FORCES.
The 7 rats could not be identified as of yesterday.
Mayda’aa: 30 rodents killed in a fruitless encounter with SAA and NDF near the Automated Bakery. There were Libyans and Tunisians in this group along with 6 Jordanians. Monzer cannot get a detailed list on the carcasses. Only these names have arrived:
“Abu ‘Issa Al-Zarqaawi” (JORDANIAN FLEA DROPPING. Id pending)
Daarayyaa: At the Sukayna Shrine (var. Ruqayyaa), a sniper was shot down from his perch in a collapsed building. No name.
Zabadaani Plain: These were killed the day before yesterday:
Maalek ‘Ali-Hassan Al-Shuyookh
Another 3 remain unidentified and are believed to be Lebanteezians. 4 were taken prisoner.
Yabrood at the Ra’s Al-‘Ayn and Al-Jarra Roundabout, 12 rats killed but no details available.
Al-Qalamoon -Talfeeta at the N.W. junction, these lowly creatures of the alleys and gutters were sent to a warm eternity in the lap of Lucifer:
‘Aatef Tawfee ‘Assaaf
“Abu Abduh Al-Ghaffaar” (Id pending)
Another 12 were taken prisoner.
LATAKIA: This news is from the day before yesterday.
Marj Khawjaa: A real troupe of buffoons were caught in broad daylight, beards and all, as they were ferrying some machine guns and ammo:
‘Izzeddeen Al-Mahaameed (This rodent is from the Der’ah area, evidently, and was known as “Izz Al-Islaam Al-Yamani. In other words he was a Yemeni but had a Syrian identity card or was a Syrian who took pride in being originally from Yemen.)
Al-Qasaatel: 4 muskrats went down to Hades in this skirmish and 5 were wounded and warbling:
Marj Al-Zaawiya: 3 rats killed. All had suspicious id with them:
Saaqiyat Al-Kirt: 6 rats dead from the “Ahraar Al-Shaam” and 9 wounded:
The other dead ones were not Syrians.
Al-Shamsiyya: NDF foiled an infiltration attempt to Wataa Al-Khaan Village by 3 vans filled with weapons, especially a 23mm machine gun cannon and lots of grenades. The number of rats killed is 12 with 3 taken prisoner. No names available.