Field Marshal Al-Bashir, seen here at Mo’s Barber Shop and Spa in Omdurman, Sudan, prepares to have his pate lavaged and shaved as it simmers under 10 hot towels especially steamed for him in the unpolluted waters of the Blue Nile.
THIS PRESTIGIOUS AWARD WAS GIVEN LAST YEAR TO SUDAN’S PRESIDENT, FIELD MARSHALL UMAR AL-BASHEER, IN RECOGNITION OF HIS ABILITY TO MURDER OVER 1,000,000 OF HIS OWN PEOPLE WITHOUT SO MUCH AS A SIGH FROM THE INTERNATIONAL COMMUNITY. PRESIDENT BASHIR PROVED TIME AND AGAIN THAT BLACK PEOPLE DON’T DESERVE THE SAME CONSIDERATION AS CAUCASIANS, THEIR LIVES BEING ESSENTIALLY A MEANINGLESS COMPILATION OF MOMENTS NO DIFFERENT FROM THOSE OF INSECTS OR WAHHABISTS. HIS ACCOMPLISHMENTS IN EVADING BOGUS ARREST WARRANTS ISSUED BY STUFFY, SELF-RIGHTEOUS, VAMPIRIC WHITE EUROPEAN GOVERNMENTS AND HIS LAUDABLE FLAUNTING OF HIS STATUS AS LEADER OF ONE OF THE WORLD’S MOST FAILED SOCIETIES MAKE HIM A REMARKABLY DESERVING MAN TO BEAR THIS ESTEEMED TITLE.
BUT, THIS YEAR, THE AWARD HAD TO GO TO SOMEONE ELSE. THE NOMINEES THIS YEAR ARE:
NUMBER ONE: PRESIDENT MICHEL SULEIMAN OF THE LEBANESE REPUBLIC
A close contender for the award and a stalwart member of that elite class of befuddled butlers, bedeviled buffoons, boondoggled bumpkins and bewildered booboisieres, he single-handedly ran a government for most of his term – a government that did not even exist! He has met leaders of other great nations with populations exceeding 5 million and successfully gave them the impression he held the scepter of power in his praeternaturally petty polity of popinjays. During his term, his accomplishments became legion, the first being he actually survived no attempts to assassinate him. It is difficult to imagine leadership so lacklustre no ambitious assassin would even deign to consider ending it. His achievements include:
1. Looking aside as French terrorists entered his country at the Beirut International Airport and drove to the Syrian border in Oscar Mayer Wiener trucks; (“How should I know?” he moped to the press. You can Zoogle that, by the way.)
2. Declared his country’s policy of “disengagement” from the situation in Syria while thousands of Syrian terrorists gathered at his borders unmolested to fight the Assad government.
3. Defended Saudi Arabia in public with a look of stern resolve.
4. Absolutely nothing else.
Former Lebanese President Emile Lahhoud was recently graced with a tribute when former head of Syria’s Industrial Espionage Academy in Tazztazaaz near Aleppo said: “Why Mr. Lahhoud is another Aristotle when it comes to President Suleiman”.
NUMBER TWO: FRANCOIS HOLLANDE, PRESIDENT OF FRANCE.
This is the iconic photo of Monsieur Hollande that regales every locker room where fans of Mad Magazine, Crack and Looney-Toons hang out.
It is not easy being the least popular leader of France since Adolph Hitler. His ratings at the polls indicate a 22% disapproval rating, a number so low the Gallup Organization describes them as “indicative of infinite hatred bordering on the pathological.” It is hard to be this unpopular while still dating some Teutonic feminist artiste who is not the mother of your 4 illegitimate children. That’s right. Monsieur Hollande is the former stud-boy-toy of Segolene Royale, failed liberal candidate for the presidency of France during the elections before the last one that brought to office the Hungarian Hulk, the Magyar Magpie, the Hunkie from Debunkie – one Nicolas Sarkozy. Hollande’s greatest accomplishment was in being elected with the following disabilities:
1. He is universally described as having a personality no more interesting than Catherine Ashton’s, id est: as interesting as your aunt’s sofa;
2. He fathered 4 bastards and refuses to legitimize his children with marriage to Royale (This has turned out to be a plus in the “nouvelle amoralite” of France;
3. He personally assassinated Kurdish activist Sakine Cansiz in December of last year because his “ami spirituel”, Recep Tayyip Erdoghan, told him it had to be done so Abdallah Ocalan could have his 64″ television on Imrali Island and a subscription to Kurd-Nerd Magazine;
4. He is partnered with Al “Bore” Gore in a new “alternative treatment for sleep disorders” called “Reverse Speech Therapy” in which a collection of both Gore’s and Hollande’s public oratory on tape and video is used to induce sleep without the need for narcotics. Its uses are also being probed for purposes of euthanasia at the Amsterdam Thanatopical Laboratories.
5. Hollande is the chief stockholder in a French fast-food concern called “Quicky Snail” which has yet to hit the American market. Product testing in Greenwich Village, N.Y.C., have been described as “slow”. The French franchise styled: “Vite! Vite! Escargot!” has yet to attract any loyal clientele.
NUMBER 3: MUHAMMAD MORSI, UNSEATED PRESIDENT OF EGYPT AND PERENNIAL PRISON CLOWN:
The most important man in the Middle East! Zowie! Boy, you can always count on Time Magazine and the rest of the Western mainstream media to come up with catchy titles. That the prediction turned out to be a miserable demonstration of completely empty-headed wishful thinking need not be dwelt upon too much; that it turned out to be a curse, is something else.
Morsi’s appearance has been described as ape-like, no doubt a positive feature for the simian denizens of Qatar. But not Saudi Arabia which viewed the Muslim Brotherhood as the kind of bete noir you would normally sic on the Syrian people. He stands as a symbol of what Egypt wanted to be if you dreamt of living in the 4th Century or in an antebellum outhouse. He was the hero who, by popular acclaim, would bring prosperity and honesty to corruption-plagued Egypt. The Egyptian people were lucky he didn’t bring back the Seven Plagues of Egypt although it wasn’t for want of trying.
Oh, the Obama clique tried to avoid ugly words like “coup”, “military overthrow”, “violent ouster” and anything that would smack of tossing the scalawag out. It was important to avoid those words or the U.S. would have to stop funneling funds and weapons to the insatiable corporation that was the Egyptian Army.
The new leader, General Abdul-Fattaah Al-Seesee (var. Al-Sisi. It means “young rat” or “pony” in dialect) justified his ouster of the bearded and pompous ape by attributing his actions to the demands of Allah. It was all God’s will, you see. And that’s the way it’s going to be for the imprisoned Mr. Morsi. In a world of appropriate endings, Mr. Morsi should spend his remaining moments in the company of Hosni Mubarak, whom he overthrew.
The jailed apostate and criminal, Morsi, was nominated because, like Michel Suleiman of Lebanon, his record is filled with absolutely nothing. In fact, as hard to believe as it is, he made the Egyptian economy even worse. That alone deserves recognition.
AND NOW THE WINNER OF THE 2013 SYRIAN PERSPECTIVE MAN OF THE YEAR AWARD.
A CANADIAN WHOSE RECORD SPEAKS FOR ITSELF. IT IS HARD TO FIND ANYONE MORE DESERVING THAN……………………………
His name, Robert Ford, speaks volumes about his geneology. Is it possible he is related to the inept winner of SyrPer’s Egon Krenz Award for the Man Who Has Done the Most to Serve the Interests of the Syrian Security Establishment? Ambassador Robert Ford? (Zoogle) Is is possible, nay, even likely that he is related to former U.S. president Gerald Ford, the bumbling, mumbling, stumbling ex-Wolverine football player and poster boy for the brain damaged?…..the same congressman whom Lyndon Johnson once said could not chew gum and walk at the same time:? YES!, we say. And why not?
To say our winner, Robert Bruce Ford, has a “zest for life” is to dabble in the art of understatement. Once the Nabob of Niagara, he hobnobbed with the both the hoity-toity and the hoi-polloi of Hyannisport and Hialeah. He was the Prince of joie de vivre canadienne even if that meant he was inevitably soused beyond repair and more likely to be in the clutches of a fille de joie. He was the outed abuser of the Powder of the Rich and Famous – an act to which he was prone to repeat when, as he said: “I was on one of my drunken stupors”. Combative, assaultive, truculent, trenchant, petulant and always high on airplane glue or Sterno, this exemplar of everything that is at the essence of the Canadian affection for refinement and sedateness, raises the bar for all future fat, fuddled, Fustian-fulminating fuddy-duddies and bloviating boors and bores. Whew!
Like the other nominees in this contest, he is without power or achievement. And that’s what makes this lout the great man that he is. We salute Canada, and congratulate Stephen Harper, the Zionist stooge crypto-catamite leader of this great nation, on producing a man of such substance, a man as worthy as Robert Bruce Ford. WE ARE DROWNED IN HUMILITY.
EVERY READER MUST SEE THIS FROM OUR AFGHAN BROTHER. IT IS INCREDIBLE! LONG LIVE THE SYRIAN ELECTRONIC ARMY:
DAMASCUS: DEATH OF TRAITOR, DESERTER AND LOUSE, LEADER OF “‘UMAR MUKHTAAR BRIGADE”
We reported this yesterday in our post. But, we did not know the name of the varmint at the time. He is: Ahmad Marwaan Al-Majaareesh, leader of the “Umar Mukhtaar Brigade”. It is obvious that the dead man in the photo, Al-Majaareesh, was an avid fan of Anthony Quinn who played the role of the Libyan revolutionary who fought the Italian government as it tried to establish Benito Mussolini as the “Mother of all Mediterranean People”. In any case, he is from Al-Muhijja Town in Der’ah Province and was one of the first traitors to desert the Syrian Army, probably around January 2012. He became a member of the “First Army Council in Der’ah”. He will be missed by no one and his body has already been dumped in somebody’s garbage can. ZAF
ARTICLES AND PROPAGANDA FROM THE WORLD PRESS:
Gee, knowing how supportive the Spanish government has been of the terrorists in Syria, I hope these reporters are given the treatment they deserve:
Everybody loves Pink Floyd, especially Palestinians. Here’s why:
WILE E. COYOTE MOMENT:
Dudley never fails to send odd-ball videos such as this one during which a rube is making a “manqoosha” on fire. Well, it blows up right in his face. He must work for the Jabhat Al-Nusra: