WHY IS SAUDI ARABIA INVITED TO ATTEND GENEVA 2 AND WHY IS IT GOING? That question and more in this article written while waiting for Dr. Jaafari to arrive from California.
There are a million reasons to visit the ape in the picture; at a zoo, in the wild, or even in a wealthy friend’s gazebo. But would you invite it to your son’s baptism? Would you send a card to it to attend a wine tasting?
If you’re like most hominids, you’re answer is probably a polite “no”. And even if you were an ape, would you invite yourself to a bingo parlor or mah jong tournament? So why are the Russians so intent on having Saudi Arabians, of all things, present at Geneva-2?
We might first ask why the Saudis even accepted? Let’s face it, their policy is quite clear: No Assad and No Iran. In the simplistic world of the desert from which the ape-like nomads emerge each afternoon after an 18-hour snooze, it’s just the way things have to be. There’s no real time here for nuanced thought or flights of fancy. It’s all black and white.
The Saudis are going to Geneva-2 because they feel slighted and want to reassert their presence even if it means soiling themselves publicly. As they throw countless millions of their ill-gotten gains on buying weapons for fellow apes, hyenas, cockroaches and grubs trying to overthrow the legitimate and secular government of Syria while slaughtering innocent civilians of every sect, (and this while their population lives without the hope of working or buying a permanent roof), they think that a show-up at the party will somehow radiate a “nuance” of diplomatic finesse – a refulgent aura of sleek and slick sleight of hand – a dollop – a big dollop – of pure obnoxiousness.
Bandar’s latest offer to Putin will dominate their synaptic-cognitive processes. Now, they grudgingly accept Dr. Assad’s duration in office, but, only on the condition that he cede power to a “transitional government” which will, at the first opportunity, legislate away any chance that he could run again for office. Isn’t that clever? Gee. I wonder if the good doctor or his Russian and Iranian allies had thought of that? And who do you think they’ll want to place at the helm of Syria’s new government? That’s right. A professional pimp and inbred locust farmer:
Any resemblance to that ape in the picture? Sure there is. Why he’s Ahmad Jarba the Magnificent. Flush with Saudi money and a look only his mother could love, this namby-pamby nimrod couldn’t manage a bordello properly, much less Syria. He’d be dead in 24 hours.
But, he’s exactly what the Saudis need. My God, who would want a doctor who can speak three languages fluently – a doctor who can write prescriptions and operate on your eye? Who would want that? And that wife of his! My gracious! Why she doesn’t wear a veil and could grace Vanity Magazine covers. Can’t have that! Wahhabist women have to cover up to hide their genetically transmitted ugliness gene.
So why do the Russians want the Saudis to come? Isn’t this a bit like trying to induce canker sores? Is it because they want to expose the Saudis as apes, or, to make themselves seem so much more refined as Russians? There is something to be said for inviting the local boor to the party in order to advertise one’s own urbanity. That must be the reason. I can think of nothing else.
Well, the Americans probably insisted on having them attend. Kerry, we could imagine, most likely told Lavrov: “Well, it wouldn’t be cricket without the Saudis. I mean, would it?” I can only picture Lavrov rolling his eyeballs. Why would you invite the problem? In truth, why would you invite anyone to this? If it isn’t the Americans with their dithering; or the French with their blustering; or the British with their oh-so-emphatic paeans to human rights and mercy (over which they almost always trample), it’s the noisome Arabians with their profligate spending on other people’s deaths. Why invite any of these malfeasors? I wouldn’t.
You can see where this is taking us. This Geneva-2 is a farce. And if it’s farce you want, it’s farce you’re going to get. Not only does the opposition have no ground over which to negotiate, they have no hotel rooms either, their bills still awaiting payment as the Syrian Army grinds the Salafist wretches into so much weasel pate. When Geneva-2 comes around – all the opposition can talk about is Al-Raqqa, now in the hands of the ISIS Takfeeris who have vowed to kill any opposition member who attends Geneva-2. Aren’t you all optimistic? Isn’t this all so universally and cosmologically correct? Don’t you want to be invited?
Why, it’s going to be more fun than a barrel of monkeys. ZAF
Attorney for 35 years and Supreme Court Certified Interpreter for Arabic/English
Diploma with Honors from Ann Arbor Pioneer High School in 1968; B.A. University of Michigan in Ann Arbor 1968-1972; M.A. University of Michigan Dept. of Near Eastern Studies 1972-1974; Ph.D. Cand. Univ. of Michigan 1972-1977; Then went to law school. Credits: Harvard University for classes in Islamic Philosophy; Fellowships from University of Pennsylvania 1976; 2 from Univ. of Michigan. Read English, Arabic, German, French, Farsi, some Hebrew. Studied Ancient Greek and Latin before grad school. Michigan Supreme Court Certified Interpreter/Translator for Arabic and English