BANDAR TO GITMO BAY; BANDAR BIN SHAYTAAN CITES PSYCHIATRIC PROBLEMS; SAUDI ROYALS SOIL THEIR DISHDAASHAS

“E’er I saw Cuba”.  Bandar likes good cigars and Cuban rum.  Bandar also likes terrorists.  It’s going to be perfect for him.

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Bandar bin Orangutan, seen here in a CNN studio answering questions about where the next bullet is going to strike.

 

I had to confirm the news coming out of Iran that Bandar is going to sojourn in the U.S. for a time before he’s sent to a funny farm in the south.  What south?  Have a guess.

 

I also had to have a platform to publish the information – which I did not have until today.  The effort to move our program to a website while the FBI investigated the miserable Islamist pervert, who was hacking into our system, came a cropper for reasons I will detail later.

 

In any case:  Robert Ford, the misguided former U.S. ambassador to Syria and SyrPer’s laureled winner of the 2011-2012 Egon Krenz/Markus Wolf Stasi Award for Service to the Syrian Security Services vouched for the veracity of the information from Tehran when he threatened the SNC with a cutoff of all American aid including Spam cans, night vision equipment, satellite Intel and snow shovels if they did not attend Geneva II.  He even threatened Salim Idrees with early denial of his application for a green card.

 

Bandar suffers from serious and chronic back pain caused by swinging recklessly from one tree vine to another with his paws slathered with banana oil.  The Saudis are trying to conceal the real reasons for Bandar’s sudden disappearance by cloaking it in medical gibberish.  In truth, Bandar’s condition is actually psychiatric.  You see, SyrPer has learned that Bandar suffers from a condition with which King Hussein’s father, Talal, was associated – to wit:  ersatz-schizo-simiano-solipsism, a condition deemed incurable by most German zoologists.

 

My source in Syria tells me that Bandar’s departure has not quite sunk in yet.  It seems almost too good to be true.  After all, SyrPer’s repetitive predictions about his downfall were not authoritative.  I mean, were they?  In any case, Ford has warned his rudderless wards that “Bandar ain’t gonna be around any more”.  Nyuk. “Bandar is going to Zontar, the home planet of Colonel Riyaadh Al-As’ad”.       

 

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Bandar seen here before his accident.  His fur is golden because he is a member of the Saudi “royal” family of apes. 

 

SyrPer is speculating that the “royal” monkeys of Arabia are looking with some apprehension at the Hague trial of the non-existent alleged assassins of former Lebanese Prime Minister and Saudi catamite, Rafiq Hariri.  Well.  Is it possible that the actions taken recently by Dr. Bashar Al-Jaafari at the U.N. to indict Turkey, Qatar and Saudi Arabia for war crimes is having an effect?  Are the Saudis soiling their dishdaashas? You bet your bippy they are.

 

 

With the scruffy, blue-jeaned, faux Americain, swaggering-staggering orangutan out of the picture, what will the exiled opposition do?  Who’s gonna write those fat checks that keep everybody at the Ritz?  Poor Captain Kangaroo.  Poor Pimp of Palmyra, Ahmad Jarba.  And what about Burhaan “Le Pipe” Ghalioun? And whatever happened to Ahmad Mu’aadh Al-Khateeb?  Yawn.

 

It looks like Montreux, Switzerland, is going to be fun – ahem – that is for Dr. Assad.  But, we just heard that the SNC has rebuffed Ford insisting that Iran not attend unless it declares its support for the resolution adopted at Geneva 1.  Since Dr. Assad has made it clear he’s not stepping down, especially while the SAA is beating the stuffing out of the foreign rats, the whole Geneva-1 boondoggle is hardly worth mentioning.  The Swiss have some nice white wines and good cheeses.  I certainly hope the former and future-exiles won’t skip any opportunities to sit down and sip wines made from sour grapes. ZAF

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


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Anonymous
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Level 0 - Anonymous
Anonymous

Excellent article, Ziad!
Great to see that the site is up & running again (fingers crossed)
Thanks & regards,
DfB

Raymond Dillon
Guest
Level 5 - Tribunus Militum

Actually , i have more affection and respect for real Baboons and apes than i do for the 7th century SAudi miscreants and savages attacking the peaceful, tolerant and civilized country of Syria.

jP
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Level 1 - Novice
jP

It is a FRACE that Iran has now been told it can not attend, thanks to SEMANTICS !
Funny how Russia and even the Assad government are attending when they have not accepted the BULLSHIT transitional step down clause!

CHEVI789
Guest
Level 7 - Tribunus Angusticlavius

Mmmmm, seems we’re on the right track after all, hope my prediction of israel disappearing in WW3 comes true,We shall prevail, I will be there to help rebuild the country with some others and with our knowledge.

Edgar Poe
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Level 1 - Novice
Edgar Poe
The empire strikes back. The chemical weapons charge couldn’t be made to stick on Syria so now the Anglo-Americans (Israel and NATO) are cranking up the “genocide” and “systematic killing” of captive Jihadis angle is being rolled out. All the news wires are picking up the story and running with it which is going to convince the world military intervention is the only way to end the conflict. A team of lawyers allegedly was provided “hundreds of images by a regime defector” code named “Caesar” to protect his identify. The team of lawyers and their investigation was funded by Qatar.… Read more »
Anonymous
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Level 2 - Veteran
Anonymous
None of that will hold water…in any real court.. after the lies of the chemical weapons , that it was done by the Rebels.. it will be clear for everyone will see the sidelines of another intent to blame Assad for warcrimes. Assad will stay in Power and will elections and all those layers will have to take that report and use it as toilet paper.. Russia neither IRAN will abandon Syria and the public Opinion is clear that US-UK-France-Israel and their GUlf allies have been for 3 years playing a dirty war using terrorist against Syria. Syria have a… Read more »
Bruce Payne
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Level 1 - Novice
Bruce Payne
I agree with your comments regarding the strength of the new ‘evidence’ of war crimes. I would also add to this that it is meant to demonise the Syrian Government at a time when it hasn’t looked stronger. As I understand it, the pursuit of war crime charges must first get through the UNSC. Don’t expect Russia to agree to this. Rather, this is an attempt to undermine the Syrian Government ahead of Geneva. It’ll be fish ‘n’ chip paper tomorrow when negotiations kick off. Ziad, funny article. Though perhaps Bandar is in hiding in case his rent-a-mob strikes Sochi.… Read more »
DT
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Level 3 - Praetorian
DT

Having major problems accessing this site for past two weeks now. Russia under attack in Ukraine, threats of terror attacks on Sochi games with US warships and hardware stationed on Russia’s doorstep, Iran blacklisted from Geneva peace conference. Western states and their Gulf puppets on the verge of war crimes charges, UK already under investigation for war crimes in Iraq. There is going to be a big kickoff very soon….

Amir
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Level 3 - Praetorian
Amir
Yo Ziad Glad the site is up and running again. I must disclose that I’ve been having serious problems getting the site at all (I’m not referring to maintenance issues etc). More often than not I keep getting “This page can’t be displayed” messages. Very frequently. Anyway I am not seeking help with this from you or other readers. Just reporting it to you in case it is something at your end. Great article on Bandar bin Shithead. Keep on truckin bro !! Awaiting your posts on Geneva2 (no doubt will be an uproarious hoot … your reportage and the… Read more »
Shin
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Level 3 - Praetorian
Shin

On closer inspection, the ‘war crimes’ dossier of images has been compiled by a self-styled Syrian defector and the panel of experts were assembled by a law firm working for the government of Qatar, a main sponsor of the Syrian opposition. The US and their friends are getting desperate and are trying everything in their power to put immense pressure on Russia and Iran to back off.

They still haven’t quite yet worked out that Syria’s enemy is also their enemy.

Best wishes to SAA and their allies in Syria

jo6pac
Guest
Level 4 - Scholae Palatinae
jo6pac

Yes and other reports show that the same picture is shot at different angles, I’m sure more will come out but nice false flag event to used against Syria. I don’t have the link but the Syrian airplane caring the team is stuck in Greece, they won’t refuel it. Amazing and wonder who doing that.

Anonymous
Guest
Level 5 - Tribunus Militum
Anonymous

Regarding the bluejean wearing baboon’s disappearance, might it not be that the Russian FSB/OMON is hot on his pursuit wanting to give this simian Neanderthal a last exploding banana to eat? Some people shouldn’t make threats-

sicel joe

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