Think of the Maronite Right as a U.S. Republican Party clone or franchise.  Just like our Republicans here, Geagea and Gemayel, inter alia,  inevitably vote for the rich because they believe, rightly or wrongly, that the rich make the best hummus.  What I mean is that rich people are what Lebanon is all about; you know, apartments with elevator garages, backless bikinis, shark skin suits, free-roam prostitution and, naturellement, Sunday mass.  It almost sounds like the Godfather Part II but with cardamon, instead of oregano.


The icon of murder, Geagea, is juxtaposed with the icon of charity and love – now a right-wing Maronite symbol of defiance and hate.

The Maronite Right has swung all the way to Saudi Arabia, a nation that does not permit Christians to build churches on its preposterously unholy sands.  They have found solace in the Wahhabist ban on alcohol, cinema, sorcery and fun.  Maronite right-wingers sing the praises of Saudi ape princes and commiserate with them over the perils of the evil Shi’i Velaayateh Fagheeh (Islam’s only Philosopher King) and that embarrassingly successful and plucky Hizbollah. They keep mum whenever the subject of female driving rears its ugly head, and all this while Lebanese Maronite right-wing Jezebels (always seemingly named “Antoinette”) tool around in their smart convertibles with unspeakable vulgarities at the tips of their tongues – no different than those blurted out by sailors – and all to the sounds of the most infernal rap music America can export.

The Maronite Right has turned away from Iran.  Iran is Shi’i.  Iran is the creator of Lebanon’s most insidious menace: Hizbollah.  Hizbollah is Shi’i.  And, dagnabit, there are more Shi’is in Lebanon today than Maronites.  It wasn’t supposed to be like this.  If it all went according to the French plan, Maronites would be the majority with Muslims and Orthodox Christians picking the grapes for the Arak distilleries, the olives for the presses and lint from Maronite coats before dinner.  In a perfect Maronite world, those blasted Palestinians would be in Jordan or Syria pestering Sunnis about this or that injury.  In a perfect world, South Lebanon would have no electricity and Shi’ites would be displayed as an aboriginal population for visiting Europeans – the Neanderthal Exhibition at the Smithsonian.  “Israelis” would top the RSVP list for every gala event thrown by the Geageas, Gemayels, Abi-Lama’s and `Eddy’sDabka lessons for free while you wait at the airport.  Biggest Hummus Bowl Contests. Tabbouleh cookbooks.

Just as the Maronite Right saw a cancer in the Palestinian presence, so did it transpose that vision on to the Syrians – even though it was the Syrian Army that saved their bacon (so to speak) in 1976!  Let’s face it, folks, the Lebanese National Forces, were on their way to eradicating Maronite power back in 1976 when General Assad ordered his army to intervene as part of the “deterrent forces” program sanctioned by the Arab League and grudgingly approved by the U.S..  Without going into the details of why Haafezh Al-Assad had to inject his country into the nascent civil war next door, it was clear that Syria had an interest in not preventing a Zionist incursion – which happened anyway.


“Man, do I have a headache.”  Amin Gemayel, who fancies himself as suave, smooth and urbane, is actually the “good cop” in the Maronite Right charade.  He denounces Arab patriots as “demagogues”.  He called Ziad exactly that when he visited Ann Arbor back in the Seventies.

Maronites are terrified of Syria and Syrians.  It’s a phobia similar to that plaguing Zionists.  Jews in Palestine fear Palestinians because it reminds them of their own non-indigenous character.  Palestinians also remain the one mortal sin they cannot wash away without losing their dream of an apartheid empire populated by The Master Jew and African laborers.    

The Maronites fear Syria because they know it was colonialism that created their Lebanon out of her.  Carved out of a hotbed of Arab nationalism, they strive to distance themselves from it in word, deed and imagination.  They revise history and censor it all to convince the world that a mountain range in Syria was a Phoenician Republic all throughout the millennia.  The chafe when they are told Jubran Khalil Jubran referred to himself as Syrian.  They fear Syria’s memory.  And they fear the Shi’is who never seemed to have accepted a partition by the wretched and failed Miles Gloriosus which is the personality of France.    

And now, as bizarre as it seems, Maronite Right-Wing Christians are siding with the theocracy of Arabia against the theocracy of Iran.  The justification is easy, almost hilarious: “We always stand with our Arab brothers against the foreigner”.  Oh Yeah?  What if France would come back and re-occupy Lebanon?  Wouldn’t that be enough to rattle out what rusty Arab nationalism is left in that old canard?  But the French are a bag of gas – inert or otherwise.  The French are almost as menacing as the Italian army in Ethiopia during the reign of Il Duce.  No.  The only game in town is Saudi Arabia.  The Maronite Right has maneuvered itself into a cul de sac no better than an existential absurdist drama written by Beckett or Ionesco.  Their end will be a quiet dimming of the lights as the audience slowly empties the theater mumbling about “warped sensibilities”.

Remember, this is about the Right.  There are many Maronites who do not share Geagea’s vision of a Switzerland coexisting with a Zionist mafia to the south taking protection money.  There are many Maronites who even  believe, as we do, that France should spend more time shaving armpits than barking belligerently at Dr. Assad.

_____________________________________________________________________________________ NEWS AND COMMENTARY:

Some of our readers may not be able to resist laughing themselves to death while reading this typical nonsense from Reuters or Yahoo or whatever:

‘Adraa dominates this report on the situation in Syria by Global Research:

If you want to know why the BBC has become a laughing-stock, read this gut-buster.  You mean he’s now clinging to life?  What life?

Der Spiegel (English) gives a nice synopsis of Erdoghan’s imminent demise:


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