TALE OF THE DEAD GERMAN RAPPER NUSRA V. ISIS IN THE COMIC BATTLE OF THE CENTURY

Former German Rapper Turned Terrorist “DESO DOGG”

DAYR EL-ZOR:

He was born, Denis Mamadou Gerhard Cuspert in 1975 in Kreuzburg, Berlin, Germany. He converted to Islam and adopted the name, Abu Maleeq (which means “Father of the one who flatters” – A meaningless name typical of these rapper nihilistic nincompoop creeps).  He became famous as a rap singer in Germany with the moniker: “DESO DOGG” (Isn’t that creative?) He traveled to Egypt and Syria in order to join the ranks of the Rodents of Allah!!!  His nom de guerre with the Islamic State in Iraq and Syria (ISIS) was Abu Talha Al-Almaani (The name Talha refers to one of the first converts to Islam. Thus, he became “Father of Talha The German).  But, yesterday, he became Abu Talha the Shredded Buckwheat.

You see, while all of you were asleep, Nusra nihilists were awake, revving their engines in order to drive willy-nilly into the home where our crooner was dozing after a long day of beheading civilians, singing gibberish and urinating all over himself.  It was a double-suicide which means that the Nusra rats had had enough of his nauseating, cacophonic ululations and wanted a sure-fire way to end his reign of terror on earth.  It is reported by Monzer that another 17 rodents were killed with him.

We, at SyrPer, want to extend our congratulations to both the family of this rodent and to Nusra for sending him to that endless concert in Hell.  Good show, Nusra.

 

Jubayla and Al-Raashidiyya:

In the city, SAA uncovered a 40 meter tunnel in which little rodents were hiding.  A teeny-weeny grenade killed them all:

  • Raami Nuwayji
  • Ibraaheem Zunnaar
  • ‘Aamer Al-Haaj
  • Kaamel ‘Azeez

The other 4 could not be identified and are believed to be foreign hyenas.

 

AL-HASAKA:

MORE DREADFUL NEWS FOR ISIS. MORE GREAT NEWS FOR SYRIA.  NUSRA IS ON A ROLL.  A suicide driver, who was convinced by Islamist charlatans and swindlers that he would go to Paradise if he killed himself by killing another rodent of the ISIS, drove his van right into a house in which this fat rat by the name of “Abu Al-Baraa` Al-Leebi” (LIBYAN CAT SKAT) was enjoying his beauty sleep.  The Libyan was a “leader” of ISIS in this area and his loss means absolutely nothing.

 

The illustrious Abu Baraa` Al-Leebi lying in state in his favorite cow field.

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