Erdoghan blacking out with an handkerchief being pulled out of his nose. Very embarrassing. These lapses have become increasingly common as his brain creeps into his ear canals.
This just in from Ba’ath Party sources: Recep Tayyip Erdoghan suffers from severe epilepsy caused by a diagnosed swollen right lobe of the brain. This was discovered in 2011 when he underwent neuro-surgery to find out why he kept blacking out. When the surgeons at Marmara University Hospital discovered the cause, his party, the Justice and Development Party, put a gag order on the issue and proclaimed Erdoghan suffered from a minor condition in the gastro-intestinal area. SyrPer learned from sources, who were clearly mistaken, that he had cancer of the lower intestine. We published the report with full certainty that this cretinous viper would be dead in a short time. Now, it appears Erdoghan’s condition has more to do with his brain function, a finding increasingly consistent with our own appraisal of his overall cognitive functioning. It has been learned that he continues to suffer episodes of unconsciousness if he does not take his medication regularly. But, are they sure it isn’t rabies?