A handout picture shows Governor of Homs province Talal al-Barazi (R) speaking with Syrians as they return to the Hamidiyeh Chrsitian neighborhood of the old town of Syria

Well, it’s either that or electing the unelectable.  He has fought off the most virulent media assault in the history of mankind – more sophisticated – more elaborate – more imbued with 21st Century psyops technology than Madison Avenue could ever invent; he has fought off hordes of reactionary ape-mongrels whose salaries were paid by some of history’s most maladroit, flea-bitten simian quadrupeds from Saudi Arabia, Qatar, Kuwait and the rest of that tribe of rag-topped degenerates and professional pedophiles; he nearly brought down David Cameron and Barack Obama as they tried to steer their countries toward another failed war in the Islamic World – more failed perhaps than the Children’s Crusade or the gobsmacking catastrophe at Gallipoli; he warded off missiles, gas canisters, trebuchets, incantations, Satanic prayers, tunnels and trucks loaded with so many explosives that their drivers entertained no hope of ascending to their promised eternal latrine kept clean by some 72 year old crone – their souls having been rendered into an unidentifiable mist inside the Crab Nebula.  He fought off pedantic, foppish, British popinjays dressed like journalists as they tried to convince an incredulous world that cannibals were chic; that beheadings were the new rage; and that crucifying malfeasors was more humane than Florida’s “Sparky” the Electric Chair – or maybe even more humane than the latest cocktail for America’s very civilized lethal injections.

Don’t be fooled by his dweebish blue orbs.  This is a surgeon-cum-computer geek who can pluck out Obama’s eyes with one fell swipe and feed them to Obama’s secret hero: Abu Sakkar.  Not one gray hair has invaded his pate – not in his mustache, chin or the hairs in his nose that can smell a terrorist crossing the Pillars of Hercules.  His iciness speaks volumes about the aspect of his personality that demands ornate planning – the kind that anticipates an enemy’s gambit over the span of 20 removes.  That is why he picked his allies carefully – and at times when he knew they desperately needed him.  He has changed the political structure of the world and has single-handedly allowed the slapstick team of western bunglers to inadvertently herald in the new Cold War – nay – the very twilight of their putative Thousand Year Reich – their Gotterdammerung!

He is the Ba’ath Party which has saved the bacon (if you will pardon the expression) of every Arab nationalist who ever dreamt of a unified Arab nation able to, finally!, take its place among the glimmering champions of human achievement -an Arab nation which would eschew sectarianism, adopt secularism and a doctrine of uncompromising rationalism to invite back an Age of Reason that blithely leapt over our lands after infusing Europe with so much brilliance.  Leaping over us meant 500 years of gloomy, ghastly, grotesque governance by a race of male gorgons from Central Asia whose only claim to the intellectual history of man was, literally, crushing it under the hoofs of their stunted nags.

No!  Syria is now on its way out of the miasma designed for it by the Antichrist in the White House; by the acolyte of Mephistopheles in London or the weasel-like factotum bastardizing derelict humbug in Paris – or that bag of Kartoffeln – Schlampe in Berlin.  Our president has overcome all of you and has crushed you!  Syria has crushed you along with your hirsute pimps with the prehensile tails.  He holds the highest honor our glorious godly Syria can bestow on any man born of woman on her holy soil, for he is in the simplest terms: A TRUE SYRIAN HERO.   Ziad Amin Abu Fadel

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