NO SPECIAL FORCES; CANADA SENDS OLD HOCKEY PLAYERS TO IRAQ

Special to Mercury News Service.  Brunhilde Liebesbombe reporting from Ottawa and Baghdad.   More and more hoaxes are being foisted upon the people of the world.  From Danny the Syrian staging phony battles to the Syrian Observatory inventing narratives from a Ouija Board to Americans staging mock beheadings, false flags and a myriad other lies concocted by the MI6 people in London and spread by unscrupulous reporters at BBC, NBC, ABC, CBS, PBS, WP, NYT working for spooks in Langley and elsewhere, this world has become a cesspool of misinformation and disinformation.

The Commonwealth of Canada was exempt from the list for quite a long time probably due to the endemic Canadian preference for understatement, politeness and, put quite simply, exasperatingly dull behavior.  Not any more, apparently.  Prime Minister Stephen Harper’s virulently pro-Zionist government announced recently that it sent a team of Special Forces operatives to Iraq to help the new government there to deal with ISIS.  Even the Iraqis trumpeted this momentous event demonstrating international resolve to fight a common enemy.

Mercury News Service has learned from informed sources high up in the Harper government that no Canadian Special Forces even exist!  The only thing close to that is the Dudley Do-Right Regiment of the Royal Canadian Mounted Police who specialize in raiding university dormitories, the last such raid taking place at McGill University in Montreal after an African immigrant was detected collecting embarrassing photos of Mr. Harper frolicking in bed with his favorite spotted seal.

In an attempt to cover up the fallout, the Canadian government leaked a story about an “A-Team” that had arrived in Baghdad to help the Iraqis with “technical issues”.  What the spokesperson did not tell the press was that the team consisted of aging hockey stars like Frank Mahovlich, Davey Keon, Red Kelly, Bobby Nevin, Tim Horton, Jean Beliveau and Gordie Howe.  Even the mummified cadaver of hockey star Sid Abel was carried aboard the chartered DeHavilland prop plane for installation and exhibition at the Baghdad Museum of Antiquities.

The entire affair was planned since 2011 when the government of Nouri Al-Maliki decided to adopt ice hockey as a national sport for the country.  After a trip to Canada, the two countries signed a protocol in which Canada promised to send “top tier” hockey players in 2014 to map out the locations for a new series of hockey rinks, train managers and offer Canada’s single greatest gift to mankind, 20,000 pucks.  As it turned out, with the delegation of senescent hockey players arriving in Baghdad, Harper’s cabinet leapt upon the convenient coincidence of the ISIS crisis and declared it was sending a unit of non-existent Canadian Special Forces to help the Iraqi government.

 

“It was just a teeny-weeny little lie” said Canuck P.M. and schlockmeister, Stephen Harper.

We asked for an interview with Mr. Harper and were surprised he acceded to our request.  We met him at his office in Ottawa.  Accompanying this reporter was Ogden Orffe, MNS Howitzer Prize-winning reporter and photographer.

 

MNS:  Mr. Harper, how will you explain to your people this outrageous canard?

SH:  Many Canadians hunt for duck and geese each year. I don’t think I have to explain any canard to them.

MNS:  Well, the response is not exactly Noel Coward.

SH: Yeah, well keep going like this and we’ll see who’s the coward.  By the way, you’re German aren’t you?

MNS:  Austrian.

SH: Sure. I’ll bet. Eh? Eh? You all say that. Nicht schuldig! Right?

MNS:  Please, Mr. Harper.  Canadians believe their country is fighting alongside the beleaguered people of Iraq.  Won’t they be disappointed?

SH:  Canadians care only about beer, hockey and maple syrup.  Nobody is going to ask.  We did it for the Americans, really.  We don’t want the Yanks to think their neighbor to the North is just a bunch of sissified gentry.  By the way, would you like to try this delicious lilac scented tea?

MNS:  No! I would prefer coffee.

SH: You’re a bit of a butch. I like that.  Eh? Eh?

MNS:  So what are the hockey players going to do with the war going on in Iraq?

SH:  Gosh. When they’re taken hostage, we’ll make a decision.  I can’t imagine Arabs playing hockey frankly. We thought about the possibility of adapting hockey as a kind of polo with the Arabs riding camels, but, none of our players ever played polo or seen a camel outside the Toronto Zoo.

MNS:  Is this horrible lie going to continue to receive publicity in Canada?

SH: You’re darn tootin’.

 

We left Mr. Harper’s office most disappointedly.  His aides did see us off at the door and plied us with a dozen Tim Horton donuts.


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dudleydoright911
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I’d love to be your canadian correspondent. I can attach my C.V. ( a picture of me giving the harper office in Calgary the “pierre trudeau salute” ) for consideration.

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p.s. years ago I met a former paramour of harper in calgary and can confirm he likes women packing more heat that he does if you smell what I’m cooking. Butch is an understatement. Unkempt, bloated sheepdog in drag is more apt.

Canthama
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Canthama

Ziad, hilarious, another masterpiece, congrats, forgive me my Canadian friends which I admire a lot, but Harper is a disgrace to Canada.

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[…] Ziad Fadel […]

Anonymous
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Syrian troops recapture military base from rebels near Damascus http://news.xinhuanet.com/english/world/2014-09/06/c_133625787.htm DAMASCUS, Sept. 6 (Xinhua) — The Syrian troops recaptured a military position from the armed militants on Saturday in the eastern countryside of the capital Damascus, the pan-Arab al- Mayadeen TV reported. The troops wrested back control over the Electronic Brigade, in northwest of the Htaitet al-Jarash town, in east of Damascus, the report said, adding that the recapture of the site came as part of the Syrian troops’ ongoing battle to recapture towns and areas in the eastern outskirts of Damascus. On Friday, the troops fully recaptured Htaitet al-Jarash… Read more »
SharkKing71
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More the SAA evict these FSA Rats from the south then more SAA will come towards the north side to make some extra Rat Stew from the 4 newly found rat species(FSA,NF,IF,IS)

Harper North Mexican Seal-Lover Snowback...
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Harper North Mexican Seal-Lover Snowback...
You are a paedophile, you are a nonce, you’re a perv, you’re a slot badger, you’re a two pin din plug, you’re a bush dodger, you’re a small bean regarder, you’re an unabummer, you’re a nut administrator, you’re a bent ref, you’re the crazy world of Arthur Brown, you’re a fence foal, you’re a free willy, you’re a chimney bottler, you’re a bunty man, you’re a shrub rocketeer… Ex-Harper advisor Tom Flanagan fired from CBC after saying viewing child pornography does no harm Josh Visser | 13/02/28 http://www.abeldanger.net/2013/03/ex-harper-advisor-tom-flanagan-fired.html Ray Novak, Stephen Harper’s gay lover – Principal Secretary in Canada’s PMO… Read more »
dudleydoright911
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Recall his band mate being charged this rear with multiple rape charges.

http://globalnews.ca/news/1133192/drummer-in-harpers-band-charged-with-sexual-assault/

Arklight
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Arklight

No wonder Harper and GW Bush got along well enough to saddle us with the North American Union
(falsely labeled the ‘Sucurity and Prosperity Partnership [SPP]). So – – what did Calderon do in this menage?

Arklight
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Arklight

Harper: to be fair, not all pole smokers, carpet munchers or butt slammers are crooks. Well, at least I don’t think so.

Ozsceptic
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Ozsceptic

HEY ARKLIGHT! – ‘pole smokers’ … ‘carpet munchers’ …..’ butt slammers’ …Thank you for making me smile. [you could always use ‘turd burglars’ as well]…. These terms I fully understand. But after calling so many trolls this name, I just have to know, what the F*** is a FEATHER MERCHANT??????
Please explain this one.
Oz

Anonymous
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Anonymous

Oz: It’s a military term of art meaning ‘bloody useless twit’. Dates back to the Civil War or, as they say in the South, The War of Northern Aggression (much more accurate, in my opinion). A feather merchant sold goose down stuffing for pillows and comforters, most often delivering chopped chicken feathers.

Ozsceptic
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Ozsceptic

Thanks Anon.. now I know!
Obliged to you.

Anonymous
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Arab gov’ts agree to act against IS

http://news.xinhuanet.com/english/world/2014-09/08/c_126962905.htm

Jordan on Sunday said it’s not part of any coalition of battling the IS.

[…]

dudleydoright911
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The dwarf has offered the us’s coat in the fight?

Nobilitatis
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Nobilitatis

The joke about being Austrian (“nicht schuldig”) may not be funny. As Adolf Hitler was an Austrian.

Anonymous
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Obama’s ISIS strategy ‘dead in the water’ – F. Michael Maaloof http://www.wnd.com/2014/09/obamas-isis-strategy-dead-in-the-water/ WASHINGTON – If President Barack Obama is looking for help from a coalition of Sunni-majority countries to resist the Islamic State, or ISIS, the consensus among regional analysts and military experts is that it won’t work. Obama has been pushing at the recent NATO summit for the formation of a coalition to resist ISIS, but Great Britain has been stressing such a force should not be Western led. U.S. Secretary of State John Kerry and other administration officials have, in turn, been reaching out to nations across the… Read more »
Arklight
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Arklight
Anon: It’s true that the Iraqi Army made a poor showing in the initial stages of the ISIS offensive, but it was at least partially due to – – um – – unreliable commanders, some of whom had disappeared a day or two before the initial attacks. Iraqi grunts who got out of Mosul told of not being able to get resupplies of ammunition, or anything else, with the only command in sight vested in squad and platoon leaders. The Americans seem to have spent a lot of time ‘training’ the Iraqi Army in almost everything but combat and combat… Read more »
the Thylacine
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the Thylacine
I curated an exhibition by a Japanese photographer in around ’02 who documented the horrific damage depleted uranium (DU) had done in Iraq after the first Gulf war, ’91. The pics were horrendous — deformities, ghastly still births, tumors… Fallujah was the worst. That was before the Second war … ! According to veteranstoday, use of radioactive poison has now been normailsed. The Khazari attack on Jamrayya seems to have been a dirty mini-nuke. DU munitions leave a hideous legacy which renders a whole region uninhabitable, a la Fukushima. The human race is going to have to develop nano-bots and… Read more »
Anonymous
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Thylacine: Thanks. I’m always astonished at the folks who think that depleted uranium is worn out, and has become inert. The military was warned in 1946, by scientists of the Atomic Energy Commission to NEVER used depleted uranium for ANYTHING, and why it should never be used, but kept in secure storage until – – well, until Hell freezes over, I guess. The trouble is that depleted uranium, en bloc, can be machined to form a very effective armor piercing projectile; since the particles released are too small to capture anyway, cleanup was never an ‘issue’. There was a pamphlet… Read more »
Anonymous
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Fresh violence kills 22 in Syria http://news.xinhuanet.com/english/world/2014-09/08/c_126962911.htm DAMASCUS, Sept. 7 (Xinhua) — At least 22 people were killed on Sunday during the ongoing violence in the unrest-torn country. The rebels in the northern province of Aleppo fired multiple mortar shells against the government-controlled districts of Salhuddien and Midan on Sunday, killing five people and injuring 30 others, according to the pan-Arab al-Mayadeen TV. Also in Aleppo, three people were killed and nine others wounded when armed militants opened fire at a passenger bus on the Athraya road in Aleppo, according to the report. In the central province of Hama, the… Read more »
Arklight
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Arklight

Anon: Noted.

Anonymous
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Boston graduate may be behind Islamic State’s online propaganda campaign http://rt.com/usa/185784-isis-social-media-abousamra/ A US citizen and computer wiz raised in a wealthy Boston family is allegedly one of the masterminds behind the Islamic State propaganda being posted on social networks. It is aimed at recruiting new followers and riling up enemies of the militant group. Ahmad Abousamra, who has dual US and Syrian citizenship, is on the FBI’s Most Wanted Terrorists list. Last year, the government promised a reward of $50,000 for information about the fugitive, who has been on the run for several years. The 32-year-old tech-savvy terrorist is now… Read more »
Arklight
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Arklight

Anon: Just goes to show that some really smart people do really stupid things. What an idiot.

the Thylacine
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the Thylacine

O yeah, its just a rogue geek, a loner… Sure, RT, I believe that. That’s why a whole floor of a downtown Kiev building is full of Secret State spooks, crackers, hackers, Photo-Shoppers, forgers…
People like Rita Katz, the Mossad skank who fudged up the beheader clips. Probably they are rented out to ISIS by the hour.

Arklight
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Arklight

Link to article on how the IAF destroyed a ‘nuclear facility’ in Syria. Photos at the time appeared to show more accurately the entrance to an underground storage facility, probably the regional seed bank that Monsanto was so distressed about. So far as I know, Syria had no nuclear weapons program.

Arklight
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Arklight
M
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Level 4 - Scholae Palatinae

I have made new map (Damascus and Qalamoun) 🙂
You can access it from the MAIN map page by clicking on the shaded area or the link in the menu.

http://www.fps-predators.com/#/middle-east-conflict/4585140400

Canthama
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Canthama

M, the detailed maps are excellent, the best I ever seen in the web so far, very good details. Congrats.

M
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Level 4 - Scholae Palatinae

Thanks! I am still working on all of them, adding more details. 😉

Ozsceptic
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Ozsceptic

To ‘M’ – On behalf of all of us who follow SyPer, thanks for the work you put into producing these maps. As Ziad stated yesterday, nobody has any faith in the mass-media anymore … and this is a good example of why that is so. It takes a dedicated (some may argue, ‘crazy’) freelancer like you to do the job that paid ‘experts’ and journalists are too lazy and stupid to do. In fairness, I suppose they would be fired if they told the truth, anyway.
So a big thank you, anyway.

M
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Ta, mate!

Canthama
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Canthama
For the ones following the battle front in Hama, it seems SAA/NDF continue to push Nusrats and IF away, after the arrival of the Tiger Force (from Aleppo, same group that liberated the siege at central prison), rats advance was held and now pushed back, Hama military airport is no longer in danger, Sheyha and Arzeh were liberated, the Christian town of Mahardeh blocked Nusrats attempt for over one week and now the fight seems to be directed toward repelling the large rat forces in the pocket. There is still a risk for a flank encirclement by the SAA at… Read more »
Canthama
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Canthama

More news from Der Ez Zor, fights all over it, this is a critical battle, it seems so far the SAA is defending the air base well with the help of SAAF, while making progress inside the city itself.

http://www.almasdarnews.com/article/syrian-air-force-attacks-isis-markada-battle-airport-intensifies/

Anonymous
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Anonymous

Canthama: Link to another article about US airstrikes on an ISIS ‘patrol’ near Haditha Dam in Iraq. I’m wondering why. The IAF can handle anything the USAF can. Maybe the USSA is trying to present a case that the Americans are essential to Iraq’s defense? With all the American ‘help’ it’s a wonder that ISIS doesn’t own the entire country.

Link: http://www.almasdarnews.com/article/u-s-airstrikes-wipe-isis-patrol-near-key-dam/

Roger
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Roger

” Maybe the USSA is trying to present a case that the Americans are essential to Iraq’s defense?”

Just maybe ? Pretty obvious, I’d say.

Anonymous
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Anonymous

Ridiculous rat ballyhoo, for your delectation. Know your enemy.
http://www.chechensinsyria.com/

Milo
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Milo

That was hiliarious Ziad, what I find funny as well is that our Jew selected puppet PM here in Australia is a carbon copy of Harper! freakin hell the Jews can’t make it any more obvious that any politician in the west has to behave exactly as the Jews say…Western politicians they all act like robots!

CHEVI789
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Level 7 - Tribunus Angusticlavius

Hey Milo, notice how the ABC & SBS parrot the same things? Juilia bishop is the biggest zionist hoar.

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