Jawbar: The Syrian Army has now completed its takeover of all areas surrounding the Fourth Industrial School killing a large number of rodents belonging to Nusra, Jaysh Al-Umma and some from Jaysh Al-Islam. A hundred-meter long tunnel was uncovered under the school which was used to transport terrorist rodents, equipment and other instrumentalities of cannibalism.
North Al-Ghoutaa at Hawsh Nasri near Doumaa: That razor is getting awfully close to ‘Alloosh’s neck:
Waleed Al-Daraawisha (JORDANIAN DUNG BEETLE)
Al-Nishaabiyya Farms: 16 skunks from the Jaysh Al-Umma were dispatched by the SAA yesterday in a firefight:
Saalih Al-Zintaani (LIBYAN VULTURE DROPPING)
The rest are believed to be foreign.
‘Irbeen: At the Reservation Garage, 4 vultures attacked a checkpoint manned by the SAA and lost. The identified rats were:
Jabr Ahmad Hassoon
Al-Qaasimiyya Farms: A leader of Nusra kicked the bucket along with 5 of his confederates.
Harastaa southwest of Secondary Roundabout: A pack of Nusra hyenas took the Last Roundabout to Hell when their van was destroyed by the SAA. No names.
Daarayyaa: Southwest of the Sukayna Shrine and the Four Seasons, the SAA clashed with Nusra and killed an undisclosed number of rodents. Weapons and ammunition were also seized for distribution to our Popular Defense Committees (a/k/a NDF).