At approximately 12:00 a.m. on Thursday/Friday a lone rodent from Libya strapped himself into the driver’s seat of a restored T-55 battle tank and drove into comic history. This would be the 8th time ISIS sacrificed one of its prized rodents in an effort to breach the perimeter of the Dayr El-Zor Airbase. This time, they really meant it. No Mercedes trucks. No Scandia trucks. And no Tonka Toys. This is the real thing.
Unfortunately for all the plans of mice and rats, the Syrian Army infantrymen guarding the base were not impressed. Every single square meter around the base has someone with a Kornet, RPG or Milan anti-tank launcher and rockets. The SAA does not use T-55s at this base so it was easy to figure out what the illustrious “Abu Faarooq Al-Leebi” was up to. No orders were required as the tank came up from Jafraa Village to open the imaginary gap in the defenses of the airbase.
As he approached with his antique tank, he was stopped cold by a perfectly aimed Kornet rocket which set the tank ablaze. Evidently, the Libyan rat wanted to insure his passage into the infernal domains of Mephistopheles and detonated his “martyr’s petard” turning himself into so much vermicelli paste.
Libyan rodent, Abu Faarooq Al-Leebi, praying before his monumental flop in Jafraa when he blew himself up in an old and refurbished T-55 tank splattering his innards in a most inconvenient fashion. Syrian soldiers could be heard guffawing all over the airbase.
When ISIS rats reported the failure, they could be heard on their walky-talkies plaintively sighing that “Abu Faarooq has martyred himself”. Boo hoo hoo. Syrian soldiers could also be heard laughing at the lowly Abu Faarooq.
In other news, SAA artillery shellacked rats on Huwayjat Al-Sakr killing a reported 11 rodents.
ALSO, THE NEXT TIME YOU BUY AN ORGAN YOU MIGHT CONSIDER THIS: ISIS IS SELLING ITS OWN DEAD RATS FOR A PROFIT. BESIDES OFFERING TO RETURN THE BODIES OF AMERICANS IT BEHEADED FOR A COOL MILLION, IT IS ALSO PROVIDING THE WORLD WITH A READY FLOW OF USABLE ORGANS THANKS TO THE SYRIAN AND IRAQI ARMIES WHO ARE COOPERATING IN CREATING THIS MARKET.