‘Aliya Farms: Right on the northern fringes of Doumaa, the quintessential lair for the uncharismatic loser, Zahraan ‘Alloosh, the Syrian Army is cutting through terrorist defenses like the proverbial knife through butter. We can confirm that huge areas of the Al-‘Aliya Farms have been secured and the army is now in a position to begin the final assault on Doumaa itself. Terrorist sympathizers have announced the deaths of 23 rodents. But, they are wrong, as always. The SAA has reported 47 carcasses scattered in the area. The number of wounded and fleeing rats darting into Doumaa for protection is in excess of 500. Here are some of the named dead:
Hundreds of IEDs were discovered in addition to a tunnel used for moving rats around the area.