DAMASCUS: The rats remaining in the center of this once-prosperous summer resort town are purely foreign and know they are going to die. But, they think that their deaths will be welcomed by their nihilistic devil-god, and, thus, they expect to travel first class straight to mansions, rivers of nectar, wine and Imperial Whiskey, all served to them by a bunch of Virginians in drag.
Al-Zabadaani: The Syrian Army and Hizbollah killed these this early morning:
“Abdullah Ahmad ‘Abdullah (leader of the terrorists of the West Neighborhood)
‘Umar Ahmad Hamdaan (IED “expert” and member of Brigades of Hamza Ibn ‘Abdul-Muttalib)
Maalik Mahmoud Khurayta (family on endangered list)
‘Umar ‘Adnaan Hamdaan
‘Abduh Dhaaher Al-Tal
Our congratulations to the Al-Tal and Hamdaan families for the generous contribution to Hell’s demographics.
THE SYRIAN ARMY AND ITS ALLIES HAVE NOW OCCUPIED 11 NEW BLOCKS OF BUILDINGS AND HAVE KILLED SCORES OF FOREIGNERS BELONGING TO THE ALQAEDA/NUSRA AND AHRAAR AL-SHAAM TERRORIST GANGSTER ORGANIZATIONS. NORTH OF THE CITY CENTER, THE SAA HAS ADVANCED TO AN AREA BETWEEN AL-HIKMA STREET AND AL-ZA’TOOT QUARTER ALL THE WAY TO SIRGHAAYAA ROAD.
12 rats have surrendered to Hizbollah (only 5 of whom were Syrians). 3 surrendered on Saturday and 3 on Sunday.