The Syrian Arab Army has entered the south-eastern flank of Khaan Al-Shaykh occupying 8 city blocks east of the Duroosha-Dayr-Khabiyya-Al-Buwaydha Avenue. The Syrian Army has also established full artillery control over Al-Zuhoor Avenue. Taken aback by the suddenness and fury of the Syrian Army assault, the rodents of Nusra/Alqaeda mounted a counter-attack with the usual sucker driving a truck loaded with military-grade TNT bolstered by C-4 (Semtex) which, as usual, got zapped by a Kornet rocket causing the happy driver to self-vaporize. When the rodents saw their Trojan Horse (so to speak) go up in a ball of flames, they continued the operation and were wiped out to a rat – almost. Evidently, some of the rats were able to scurry away toward the Golan. A full field assessment was conducted after a lull in the fighting. No carcasses were identified because they were all foreigners – some carrying Zionist cigarettes in their cargo pockets.