August 23rd, 2015 11:17 am    111 comments

AL-ZABADAANI: TERRORIST RESISTANCE FAILING; 56 TERRORIST JACKALS KILLED IN LATAKIA; ZIAD’S INTERVIEW WITH DR. STAGGENBORG

DAMASCUS:  There is some scuttlebutt concerning the death of the Rat King of Doumaa, Zahraan ‘Alloosh, but, no confirmation yet.  Oh, he’s going to die violently, to be sure, yet, maybe it’s not in our interest yet to see him fly off into another dimension.  You see, ’Alloosh is a doofus who leads his rats…

August 21st, 2015 10:13 am    135 comments

DESPERATE TERRORISTS IN AL-ZABADAANI; TRY INFILTRATE FROM EAST; FLOP-FLOP-FLOP; SYRIAN ARMY KILLS SCORES OF RATS IN LATAKIA AND DER’AH; ZIONISTS FIRE ROCKETS AT CIVILIANS

DAMASCUS:   Al-Zabadaani:  It’s been over for weeks, but, the clean-up continues.  Remember, no deals for Ahraar Al-Shaam rats, so they have to fight on despite the handwriting on the wall which spells the word DEATH.  In an effort to help the trapped rodents, Nusra/Alqaeda executed an operation designed to break into the eastern part…

August 19th, 2015 09:19 am    26 comments

LATAKIA: 8 ALQAEDA VERMIN KILLED IN KINSIBBA; 60+ TERRORISTS KILLED IN ‘IRBEEN BY SAAF; AL-ZABADAANI WITH NO RATS LEFT TO FIGHT

LATAKIA:    Kinsibba Town:  Confirmed 8 rodents killed (all foreign) after a bone-chilling assault by Syrian Armed Forces backed by PDC.  Of the 8 foreign rodents, 3 were confirmed Libyans, one, Abu Mus’ab Al-Tunisi was TUNISIAN and the rest had invalid identification.  However, the literature inside their pockets indicated origins in Chechnya and Turkey.  …

August 18th, 2015 02:45 pm    84 comments

AL-ZABADAANI 99% DELOUSED: DEFENSE MINISTRY TO ANNOUNCE COMPLETE VICTORY: SYRIAN ARMY LIBERATES MORE TOWNS AS CAMPAIGN TO ELIMINATE RATS CONTINUES

DAMASCUS:  We are seeing a sea change in the military situation in the Damascus area.  The rodents belonging to the major criminal terrorist gangs are unable to affect the outcome of the battle for Al-Zabadaani.   No matter how much ‘Alloosh’s psychopaths try to distract the army, it’s just not working.  As of right now, I…

August 13th, 2015 03:13 pm    62 comments

ALQAEDA GROUND INTO DUST BY SYRIAN ARMY IN DAMASCUS

DAMASCUS:  As the Saudi apes dream of a Zionist-controlled Near East without Dr. Assad or the Ba’ath, their stultifyingly moronic minions in Syria are taking a drubbing serious enough to make one wonder if their leaders are alive.   Daarayyaa:  After liberating 9 whole blocks and delousing every floor at the Jam’iyyaat Quarter, the Sports…

August 9th, 2015 10:19 am    95 comments

SYRIAN CITIZENS RISE UP AGAINST ‘ALLOOSH; TERRORISTS SPLITTING UP AS POPULAR ANGER RISES; 32 RATS KILLED BY SYRIAN AIR FORCE

‘Alloosh seen in this picture covering his head as citizens of the Eastern Ghoutaa hurl their shoes at him.  (Photo: Smosh.com) DAMASCUS:    Saqba Village:  Hundreds of incensed Syrian citizens emerged from their homes demanding the arrest or resignation of illustrious ape and traitor, Zahraan ‘Alloosh, the nominal head of the “Jaysh Al-Islam” (JI). ‘Alloosh…