November 13th, 2014 07:46 am    38 comments

SYRIAN ARMY SCORES VAPORIZES 7 NUSRA LEADERS IN QALAMOON

  DAMASCUS:  We can confirm the deaths of 27 Nusra rodents meeting in Syria after entering through routes from Lebanon to the areas around the town of Faleeta and Waadi ‘Ajram.  With superb intelligence available from sources in Lebanon (it appears Nusra can’t do anything without announcing it on a loudspeaker), the SAA was fully…

November 2nd, 2014 01:44 pm    73 comments

‘ALLOOSH’S FORTIFICATION IN DOUMAA FALLING APART AS SYRIAN ARMY RATTLES THE RATS

DAMASCUS:   Doumaa:  The progress is slow and deliberate.  However, we can confirm, based on messages received from our sources inside Damascus, that the last of Jaysh Al-Islam’s fortifications has collapsed into dust under the withering fire of SAA artillery. ‘Alloosh’s location has been pinpointed by SAA-MI.  He is living in a spider hole surrounded…

October 17th, 2014 01:11 pm    112 comments

TERRORIST KILLERS DOWN BY THE HUNDREDS IN JOBAR!

DAMASCUS:   JAWBAR: The Syrian government press is not announcing the numbers out of fear it could galvanize sympathy for the dying rodents of the Nusra group of terrorists.  Our information on the ground is that the Nusra has lost close to a thousand of its foot soldier-rodents during the last 2 weeks of fighting…

SYRIAN ARMY VANQUISHES SAUDI RATS IN JAWBAR 3
October 15th, 2014 12:48 pm    69 comments

SYRIAN ARMY VANQUISHES SAUDI RATS IN JAWBAR

DAMASCUS: Jawbar:  It could be announced any moment.  The SAA is primarily involved in cleaning up over-ground and underground in this once-infested town.  An attempt by remnant rodents to re-infiltrate in the direction of the Soap Factory and slaughterhouses was repelled with substantial losses to the mostly foreign rodents of Nusra.  The rats used another…

JAWBAR 90% IN SYRIAN ARMY HANDS AS TUNNELS ARE DESTROYED; SAUDIS, KUWAITIS AND OTHER FILTH KILLED 4
October 13th, 2014 02:45 pm    70 comments

JAWBAR 90% IN SYRIAN ARMY HANDS AS TUNNELS ARE DESTROYED; SAUDIS, KUWAITIS AND OTHER FILTH KILLED

DAMASCUS:  WE TOLD YOU SO.  It’s only a matter of clean-up before the MoD announces the “complete” delousing of Jawbar.  Incredibly, the SAA, using new technology, has unearthed a network of tunnels each with a three-pronged design extending for no less than 150 meters.  Just a few hours ago these mostly foreign vermin were put…

JOBAR TO BE LIBERATED IN ONLY HOURS; REPUBLICAN GUARDS ROLL OVER THE RATS 5
October 12th, 2014 10:28 am    38 comments

JOBAR TO BE LIBERATED IN ONLY HOURS; REPUBLICAN GUARDS ROLL OVER THE RATS

  DAMASCUS:  SYRPER HAS CONFIRMED THAT AN ANNOUNCEMENT WILL BE MADE ANY MOMENT NOW ABOUT THE DELOUSING OF JAWBAR AS THE SYRIAN ARMY IS LITERALLY CRUSHING THE REMNANT RODENT TERRORISTS WITH A FEROCITY UNPARALLELED DURING THE ENTIRE CONFLICT.  NEW TANKS AND NEW ORDNANCE TIED TO SUPERB INTELLIGENCE IS MAKING THE DIFFERENCE AS STARVING VERMIN COMMUNICATE…