DAMASCUS: It was another bad hair day for Zahraan ‘Alloosh in Doumaa as the SAA continued to chip away at his defenses all the while reducing the number of rats upon whom he can rely for his final stand. Tal Kurdi Farms in Doumaa: The SAA killed 6 of his rats and added…
Many doubted the existence of the group calling itself “Khurasaan”, an area of Iran which played a major role in the expansion of early Islam. Well, it appears the Syrian government has no doubt it exists. The day before yesterday, the SAA used its artillery in a very precise way killing an entire grouping of…
DAMASCUS: ‘Irbeen: A suburb northeast of Damascus. A van with 4 skunks belonging to Al-Jabhat Al-Islamiyya was turned into a molten ball of fire. The weapons and explosives aboard were ignited and lit the sky. Only one rodent was identified: Muhsin Zibeeb ‘Irbeen: At the Al-Jawra Mosque, a flatbed carrying boxes of ammunition…
Al-‘Aaliya Farms: Zahraan ‘Alloosh is so desperate, he has begun ordering his rats to fight suicidal battles to hold territory. In the area where he is hiding, the SAA assaulted a warehouse filled with weapons belonging to his soon-to-be-extinct rodent organization and killed these after they were ordered by cellphone to resist any surrender. The…
DAMASCUS: 154 former rat supporters and formerly armed terrorists surrendered to the SAA and security services yesterday. Some of you might also find it comforting that 138 former rats surrendered also in Hama. In all likelihood, the entire group will receive amnesty unless they can be fingered as prime agents of the terrorist organizations. …
DAMASCUS: Doumaa: The progress is slow and deliberate. However, we can confirm, based on messages received from our sources inside Damascus, that the last of Jaysh Al-Islam’s fortifications has collapsed into dust under the withering fire of SAA artillery. ‘Alloosh’s location has been pinpointed by SAA-MI. He is living in a spider hole surrounded…
Hawsh Al-Faarra: (It means Courtyard of the Female Mouse or the Courtyard of the Female Fugitive) Whatever it means, the SAA has completely liberated this village as of 2 days ago. Mayda’ah: This important connecting link to the successful campaign to delouse the entire East Ghoutaa is under very tight artillery control as of…
Jisreen: ‘Alloosh’s Jaysh Al-Islam took another bloody hit yesterday when 15 of his rodents went down the chute to Hell’s basement. A pack of his rodents was meeting to transmit orders from the Big Rat in the Big Hole in Doumaa when previously alerted SAA and NDF moved in with a Shilka and blew them…