DER’AH: A communique announced by the Ministry of Defense yesterday describes terrorist morale at an all-time low. This assessment is the result of months of surveillance and eavesdropping combined with statistics indicating a spike in the number of rodents who have abjured terrorism over the last 6 months. The only group which appears to…
DERA’H: What a massacre at Al-Nu’ayma! It happened just before 4:30 a.m. on Friday when the 132nd Brigade of Syria’s 5th Mechanized Armored Division, a part of First Army Corps, laid into Liwaa` Thuwwaar Sooriyya (Brigade of Syria’s Revolutionaries, tee hee hee) and eradicated them and their allies. I had vague reports of this battle…
DER’AH: It appears more and more that the SAA is gaining momentum all over the south as more troops are reinforcing from the Damascus and Suwaydaa` countrysides. West of ‘Itmaan: SAA killed 12 rodents here and destroyed 2 armored vehicles south of the Cable Building. All foreigners. Basr Al-Hareer: 23 confirmed rats killed…
DER’AH: Inkhil: In a uniquely precise operation, the SAA struck hard at the Liwaa` Jaydoor Al-Hawraan and Liwaa` Hamza Assadullaah killing a confirmed 11 terrorists and taking 4 prisoners. These groups belong to Nusra. ‘Itmaan: Harakat Al-Muthanna, another Nusra franchise, was tripped up by faulty intelligence and fell right into a trap set…
DER’AH: He came to Der’ah exactly when the uprising was about to begin. He was a Jordanian national trained by the General Intelligence Agency as a spy and recruiter. His job was to infiltrate Salafist groups inside the country and report to his superiors. He was very good at his work. He was eventually recruited…
Kafr Mayyit/Abu Al-Zubayr/Baalis/Qumaynaas Axis: The SAA conducted a flawless raid on Erdoghan’s Nusra rodents and killed 16 while wounding a reported 11: Saamir Al-Sirmaani Ghaazi Shamlaan ‘Abdul-‘Azheem Furaykaash Zaahi Mahmoud Zi’innu Muhammad Sharafuddeen The rest of the dead were confirmed foreigners, some Turks and some Georgians. Ma’arrat Al-Nu’maan: We can confirm a successful assassination…
DER’AH: Al-Shaykh Miskeen: The SAA has established complete artillery control over the road between Nawaa and Al-Shaykh Miskeen. The control is now so tight the rats have been complaining about festering carcasses they are unable to remove or bury. A command-and-control nest run by Nusra was devastated last night by SAA killing in the process…
AL-LAYRAMOON: 17 skunks belonging to Nusra were killed as they tried to break the Army’s grip on the iron cordon placed around northern Aleppo. The attack was typical of Nusra: a small van loaded with TNT and C-4 driven by a smiling idiot who thinks that by blowing himself into smithereens on the word of…